The Book of Kings, like Samuel before it, has been divided into two in the modern bible. Originally, Samuel and Kings were part of one book called The Book of Kingdoms, though with four clearly defined historical periods, which is what led, later on, to the divisions (various version, in both Latin, Greek, and English translations, before we get to the one we’re familiar with in modern day). Kings covers the period from the end of David’s reign through the destruction of the kingdom of Judah by the Babylonians, into a period of exile, and then redemption from exile. It has been proposed, and generally, though not universally accepted, that the book was penned by the prophet Jeremiah, as witness to that period. Much of the book, apparently, will be devoted to the schism between political and religious leadership. We shall see!
- David is old. His advisors get him a young, beautiful girl to attend to his dying days, though it is made clear they are never intimate. Meanwhile, Adonijah, younger brother of Absalom (David’s son who was killed for treason), follows in his brother’s footsteps. He goes around proclaiming that he is the next king, organizing feasts and sacrifices and making alliances with various of David’s commanders. But apparently, David had promised one of his other sons, Solomon, with Bathsheba, to be king. Political intrigue ensues. Various advisors and prophets approach David to let him know that Adonijah is attempting to usurp the throne. David musters some of his last strength, sends for Bathsheba, re-avows that Solomon will be king, sends for Solomon and all the high priests, and annoints him king. Adonijah is informed by messenger, in mid-feast for his ascension, gets scared that Solomon will have him killed and runs to the Altar, basically chaining himself to it. Solomon, now king, promises that if he behaves himself he won’t be harmed, and has him removed from the Altar.
- David is down to his last breaths. He tells Solomon to obey God, follow the rules in the Torah, and avenge David by “doing what is right” to everyone who ever wronged him. Then he dies. Solomon arranges for all of David’s past enemies to be whacked. This even includes Adonijah, David’s half-brother who tried to usurp the throne and whom David promised could live peacefully and without harm. Then again, Adonijah tries a scheme to get Solomon to give him that lovely attendant who took care of David in his final days.
- Now, this gets interesting. Solomon marries outside of Judaism, the daughter of the Pharaoh, in order to create a political alliance. And, while he observes Jewish ritual and follows commandments, he also performs sacrifices and rituals with the Egyptians. That seems a violation of the Torah commandments. But apparently neither he nor God see it that way. God visits him in his dreams and asks what he can do for Solomon, whose response is to ask for wisdom in justice as a ruler. God says, cool, and because you didn’t ask, I’m also going to grant you long life. So Solomon didn’t pop on the scene as a wise man, he got that later. Then we have the familiar story of threatening to cut the baby in two in order to determine its real mother. Yawn.
- A list of Solomon’s various court and regional officials and their job descriptions. The lands of Judah and Israel are filled with happy, well fed people. You just know this is a setup, right?
- Solomon is considered the wisest of all men. He’s also pretty rich, levying massive taxes in the form of taking grain, fruits and vegetables, livestock for his palace. And, he decides it’s time to build the promised house of God that David wasn’t allowed to. And so, he arranges with Hiram, who has teams of loggers, to provide the wood for the Temple. And he forcibly drafts over 100,000 citizens into laboring on the quarrying of stone, carrying of supplies, and building of the Temple. Because wise as he is, apparently he didn’t learn anything from the history of Jews being enslaved in Egypt.
- The text notes that it’s been 480 years since the Exodus from Egypt when Solomon starts the building of the Temple. We are treated to a detailed architectural description of the design, window treatments, and use of precious metals and woods in its construction. It takes seven years to complete. I’m still thinking about the 100,000 people pressed into involuntary servitude to build it.
- Having dispensed of his obligation to build the Temple, Solomon turns his attentions, and, let’s call them what they were, paid slaves, to the building of his own palace. The Temple took 7 years, this takes 12 more. Far more elaborate and costly than the Temple. Because, you know, he and his wife, daughter of the Pharaoh, need some lux in their lives, and David’s old palace just won’t do. It includes a separate mansion for her. Once it’s complete, he brings in all the treasures of David’s conquests and has them deposited in the treasury.
- The Temple is built. Solomon sends the priests to Zion to retrieve the Ark and its Tabernacle. They return and place it in the Temple, which is immediately filled with a dark cloud, driving them from the Temple. God checking out his new digs and all that. Solomon gives a long winded speech in front of the altar reminding God that they’ve done everything he asked, built him a new house, sacrificed 22k oxen and 120k sheep over a week, and then enumerates all the promises God made to David as long as the Jews keep the faith. He says, look God, we keep the faith, or repent when we don’t, & you keep you promises. There’s no or else mentioned, but one has to wonder what’s Solomon’s intent. After all, what is he, or anyone, going to do if God just hangs out in the Temple and doesn’t keep his word?
- God appears to Solomon, the first time in 20 years, since he granted him wisdom. He gives his conditional stamp of approval on his news digs, the Temple, subject to that the Jews continue to worship him and no other gods, in perpetuity. If, however, they stray, he reserves the power to toss them from favored status and have the world look askance on them. Solomon agrees. Back to mundane affairs, Solomon gives reign over a territory of 20 towns to Hiram, who supplied the gold and wood for the Temple. Hiram’s not overly thrilled, given how much he contributed, opining that the area given, more or less, sucks. So Solomon makes all those forced labor Jews to become warriors, and subjugate the non-Jews in the area as slaves, to rebuild the borderlands for Hiram.
- The Queen of Sheba comes for a visit and to test Solomon’s knowledge. He was able to answer all her questions. She was flustered, having been sure she could trip him up, but has to acknowledge his wisdom. She gifts him lots of gold, gems, and spices. Add to that the vast quantities of similar tribute that area rulers sent to him, Solomon was not only the wisest, but the richest king in the world. And, he loved to flaunt it. Carved ivory throne, gold utensils, even his soldiers were outfitted in gold. Which, doesn’t seem like a great idea in terms of protection, since gold isn’t one of the harder metals, but so be it, they looked shiny.
- I told you, I told you, I told you. Solomon thinks he’s better than everyone else. He thinks he doesn’t have to follow the rules. God said no other gods. God said don’t get involved with women from enemy lands. But Solomon thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. And, in some ways he may be. But, he falls for women from across the lands – quite a few of them – 700 wives and 300 tconcubines. And, more and more, he turns away from God and joins one or another of his women in praying or offering sacrifice to another god. So God says, “I’ve had enough, your lineage is through. I’m taking the kingship away from your tribe and giving it to the other tribes. Out of deference to your father David, I’ll wait until you’re dead… soon… and have them attack and take it away from your son. Solomon ignores this, continues to do what he wants, and soon dies, after forty years as king. His son Rehaboam takes the throne. Meanwhile, God has enlisted the service of various of the now grown youngsters who escaped David’s slaughtering of their people decades ago.
- So, Rehoboam heads to where he’ll be acclaimed king. He’s approached by one of his family’s enemies, Jeroboam (these are wine bottle sizes, just sayin’), who says, “look, dude, your granddad screwed us, your dad put us in slavery, what are you going to do about it?” Rehoboam asks for three days and then consults with his advisors, who tell him to apologize, be kind, and promise to do better, and then do so. But Rehoboam also consults with his frat buds, who advise telling the “malcontents” to f*k off. Guess who he listens to? Like grandfather, like father, like son. Rehoboam is forced to retreat and call up his army. But God sends a messenger to the leader of his troops to tell them to stand down and not support Rehoboam against the rest of the Jews. Meanwhile, Jeroboam has, in order to create places of worship for his troops, erected two golden calves in two nearby towns, so God’s not all that happy with him either.
- It seems we’re going to focus on Jeroboam for the moment. He’s hanging out at one of his golden calf altars, in Bethel. God sends a messenger who tells him to cut it out. Jeroboam points at him and tells his soldiers to kill the messenger. Doesn’t he know the adage? God freezes his arm in place and protects the messenger. Jeroboam apologizes and God lets him have the use of his arm back. Jeroboam invites the messenger to dine with him, but he refuses, saying God told him not to eat there, and to return home immediately by a different route. He sets out, and is waylaid by a man claiming to be a prophet who likewise invites him to dine. He refuses, but the man convinces him. They dine together. The messenger sets out again, but is attacked and killed by a lion. God appears and says, “I told you not to eat there.” His body is left at the side of the road, then the fake prophet comes and takes it away and buries it in an unmarked grave. Jeroboam hears about all this and decides that killing the messenger was the right move, so he goes back to building altars and appointing priests.
- Jeroboam’s son, Abijah, is sick. Jeroboam sends his wife, in disguise, to a prophet, Ahijah, with gifts, asking for a prediction. God appears to Ahijah, and tells him that Jeroboam’s wife is coming, in disguise. When she arrives, Ahijah asks her why she’s disguised. She admits who she is, and asks for about her son’s future. Ahijah, on God’s instruction, tells her that Jeroboam screwed things up, and his entire lineage is to be wiped from the face of the earth, like washing dung from the streets. She goes home. Abijah dies as she enters. Jeroboam’s lineage ends. Meanwhile, Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, has followed in his father’s footsteps, worshipping idols, offering sacrifices to other gods. The even had, horror of horrors, male prostitutes working the street corners. God sends the Egyptians to loot his palace. But, he doesn’t stop, and eventually dies, leaving his son (yet another similar name), Abijam, to ascend the throne.
- Abijam reigned for three years, continuing in his father and grandfather’s transgressions. He dies. His brother, Asa, takes over, and reigns for forty-one years. In a break with his predecessors, he returns to the tenets established by David and gets right with God. He expels the male prostitutes from the region, and smashes all the idols. He continues the good fight against Jeroboam’s reign on the other side of the country (if I didn’t note it, Jeroboam is king of Israel, Solomon’s line is king over Judah, they haven’t yet combined). Asa also deposed his mother as queen monarch, since she was much of the source of the idolatry that his predecessors engaged in. So much for honor thy mother and father. He continues the war, now against Baasha, who took over from Jeroboam after his death. Baasha continued the ways of his predecessor, Jeroboam (actually, there was a brief, two year tenor of someone named Nadab), worshipping idols.
- The nutshell version of the various folk who now follow Baasha: his son Elah; who was then killed in a military coup by Zimri; who then committed suicide and burned down the palace when threatened with another military coup by Omri; to a split between Omri and Tibni, another military leader; to Tibni’s death and Omri taking over again; to Omri’s son Ahab. Suffice it to say, all were guilty of the same heretical behavior as Jeroboam, now decades ago. And God is still not amused.
- Elijah appears on the scene. God has him tell the errant king that a drought is coming to destroy his kingdom. He also has Elijah go sit alone, and ravens bring him food and drink. After awhile, he has Elijah go to a small town and approach a single woman. She’s poor, has nothing to offer, but Elijah convinces her to feed him, and she does. In return, God makes sure her food and drink are replenished, magically. Then, her son gets sick and dies. She decries Elijah, after all, she’s done everything he asks, and now her son is dead. Elijah takes the boy’s body into his bedroom, prays to God, who restores the boy’s life. Then Elijah brings the boy back down to her. Shazam! She’s like, damn….
- Back at the corrupt palace, Ahab and his majordomo, Obadiah, split up the country and set out in search of food and water for their people. Elijah approaches Obadiah, who in the past has been faithful to God and even hidden the faithful from Ahab. Elijah tells him to go get Ahab, it’s time for a showdown. Obadiah, in fear for his life, does so. Elijah challenges Ahab to a duel of power, himself against 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah. Ahab, feeling cocky at his odds, accepts. Elijah sets the terms – each side slaughters a bull, sets it up on their altar, and invokes their god to light the flames and accept the sacrifice. The Baal prophets do so (the Asherah prophets disappear from the narrative), and spend the day praying, dancing, and bloodletting. Nothing happens. Elijah sets up an altar, puts the wood and the bull on it. Douses the wood in water. Calls on God, who lights the fire and consumes the bull. The people acknowledge Elijah and God. Elijah slaughters all 450 Baal prophets. Ahab flees for home. Elijah races him.
- Ahab beats Elijah home and reports what happened. Jezebel (where did she come from?) sends a messenger to Elijah promising his death. He flees. Twice, while fleeing, he collapses, with no strength and an angel appears and gives him food and water. He makes it forty days to Mt. Horeb where he hides in a cave. God appears and asks him what he’s doing there. He replies that there are too many unbelievers, they’re too strong, and he’s just one guy, and wants to die. They go back and forth – it’s kind of a scene from Oh, God! Eventually the pep talk works and God sends Elijah to appoint two new kings over the regions, and a new prophet to replace himself, and those three will slaughter all the Baal worshippers, leaving only 7000 faithful to the real God in Israel.
- I have to admit, I’m not getting the flow of this. God keeps saying he’s going to wipe Ahab and his ilk off the face of the earth, and he’s already had surrounding rulers kill off most of his subjects. Is he just toying with Ahab? Cat and mouse before the kill? I Kings 20. I have to admit, I’m not getting the flow of this. God keeps saying he’s going to wipe Ahab and his ilk off the face of the earth, and he’s already had surrounding rulers kill off most of his subjects. Is he just toying with Ahab? Cat and mouse before the kill? Then God sends another prophet to Ahab to tell him he’s going to lose in the future, and Ahab, despite that he’s basically beat the odds everytime against God, turns sullen and goes home again.
- Time jump. There’s a guy named Naboth who has a vineyard near to Ahab’s palace. Ahab wants the property for a vegetable garden and offers either pay, or a different vineyard. Naboth refuses. Ahab cries himself to sleep. His wife, Jezebel, says she’ll handle it. She organizes for Naboth to be honored at a festival, but arranges for a couple of scoundrels to accuse him of bad dealings, and for the elders to find him guilty, and then stone him to death. Ahab gets his vegetable garden. God sends Elijah to Ahab to tell him, again, bad boy. He gets a long lecture from Elijah, and a list of all the ways God is going to destroy him and his lineage. Then Elijah leaves, Ahab goes back to doing whatever he wants, and God, apparently, sits around sulking.
- Well, finally. We jump another three years into the future. We meet Jehosophat, as in “Jumping Jehosophat!”, I assume, who is a regional king. He meets up with Ahab, they consult various prophets as they parlay over going to war with each other. As best I can tell, the only reason for going to war with each other is that Jehosophat is a follower of God and believes it’s his duty to bring down Ahab. They go to war. Ahab is finally killed. His son Ahaziah takes over and continues everything his forefathers did. Although Jehosophat goes out of his way to try to right things (aanother segue into the clearing out of remaining male prostitutes, it seems to be a thorn in God’s side), in the end, Baal worship continues, and God’s promise to end Ahab’s line remains unfulfilled. End book.