The Book of Kings, like Samuel before it, has been divided into two in the modern bible. Originally, Samuel and Kings were part of one book called The Book of Kingdoms, though with four clearly defined historical periods, which is what led, later on, to the divisions (various version, in both Latin, Greek, and English translations, before we get to the one we’re familiar with in modern day). Kings covers the period from the end of David’s reign through the destruction of the kingdom of Judah by the Babylonians, into a period of exile, and then redemption from exile. It has been proposed, and generally, though not universally accepted, that the book was penned by the prophet Jeremiah, as witness to that period. Much of the book, apparently, will be devoted to the schism between political and religious leadership. Here in Book 2, we pick up after the death of the apostate king Ahab, during the “Elijah Cycle”.
- Ahaziah, the son of Ahab, is king now. One day, he falls through a latticework and is severely injured. He sends messengers to the priests of Baal to ask for their assistance. But God has Elijah intercept them and send them back to Ahaziah, asking, why didn’t you send us to God, he says, because of that, you’re going to die. Azahiah sends 50 soldiers to apprehend Elijah, but God kills them. Repeated a second time. The third time, the captain of the soldiers begs for mercy. An angel tells Elijah to go with them. He does. He confronts Ahaziah and tells him he’s going to die. Ahaziah dies.
- Elijah and his disciple Elisha are discussing the passing of the mantle of prophecy, because it’s time for Elijah to die. Despite asking him not to accompany him, Elisha insists on following him to the appointed place of his death. They are followed by fifty men at a distance, and cross over a river, which parts for them, leaving the men behind. On the far side, our of sight, a fiery chariot appears and carries off Elijah, leaving behind his robe of prophecy, which Elisha dons, and then returns to the men. They insist on searching for Elijah, not quite believing the chariot story, but in the end accept that he’s gone. Elisha sets off for home. A group of boys start taunting him because he’s bald. Apparently not a patient nor compassionate man, he calls out to God. God sends two mother bears out from the woods who mangle and tear apart forty two boys, leaving their remains scattered about. Elisha more or less shrugs and continues on. Overreaction much? Moral of the story, don’t tease prophets? Don’t tease bald men?
- Jehoram, Ahab’s son, is the new sheriff in town. While he tears down the altars to Baal, he apparently engages in “the other stuff”. Is this a veiled reference to hanging with the male prostitutes that kept being mentioned? Meanwhile, the king of neighboring Moab, Mesha, declares war on Israel. Jehoram takes his army and marches on Moab, but it’s a long way, and they run out of food and water. He has Elisha, conveniently nearby, brought to him, who snidly suggests that he appeal to his own prophets. He appeals, Elisha relents, says God will help them win over Moab. Next morning, the surrounding waters appear red, like blood, Mesha, thinking there’s infighting going on, attacks. Rebuffed, and Israel’s army drives them back. Mesha sacrifices his first born son to God. God sees this, gets pissy with Israel, and “brings a great wrath upon them”, so they stop attacking Moab’s army and return home.
- We have three stories of miracles that Elisha performed, but I’m going to focus on one. He regularly, in his wanderings, stops at one particular house, where the woman is a good cook and always feeds him. The family also provides a room and bed where he can rest. Elisha asks what he can do for her, in turn. She says there’s nothing she really wants, but a son. He tells her she will have one, she doesn’t believe him, but in short order, she and her husband conceive, and she has a son. Years later, her son collapses in the fields and dies. She sets out to find Elisha, and tells him what happened. He goes with her to their home. He goes into the room with the boy’s body, locks the door, and gets into bed with him, where “he covers the boy’s body with his own” and, well, it gets a little wink, wink, here. Long story short, after whatever he does to the corpse, it suddenly revives, sneezes seven times, and Elisha gets dressed and takes the boy to his mother. No questions asked.
- Naaman, commander of the armies of Aram, has leprosy. So the king of Aram sends him to Israel, where he has heard the king there can cure leprosy. But, he cannot, however, he sends Naaman to Elisha. Elisha tells him to bathe in the local river, seven times. Naaman’s enraged, he was expecting some hocus-pocus from Elisha. But his men convince him to try, he does, and is cured. He swears to only worship God, though admits he’ll have to pretend to worship his king’s deity. Elisha waves him away and refuses to accept payment. But, Elisha’s servant, Gehazi, isn’t so altruistic, and follows Naaman, approaching him and saying his master has reconsidered. Naaman gives him money and clothes. He returns home and hides these away in his house. Elisha, however, knows all, and curses him with Naaman’s leprosy.
- Still comparing the kings of Aram and Israel, today’s passage has Elisha advising Israel’s king on the various troop movements of Aram’s. When the latter finds this out, he attempts to capture Elisha, who calls on God to seed illusions in the king’s mind. He convinces him that he’s not Elisha and sends him off in another direction. Then Aram’s king lays siege to Samaria. Famine ensues. The king of Israel, walks, in plain clothes, among the people, realizes how bad things have gotten. He wonders aloud why Elisha has done nothing. After all, if he has all these supernatural, God given powers, why hasn’t he used them in defense of the city, but just himself? He calls for Elisha’s head, which seems an overreach without even talking to him. Elisha enlists the city’s elders to protect himself.
- Elisha awaits the king, and tells him, look, if you’d have just asked… here’s the deal, tomorrow, God will get rid of the Arameans, and our people will have money and food. But you, because of your lack of faith, will never partake of it. Next day, it is discovered that overnight, God visited hallucinations on the Arameans and they all fled, leaving behind gold, silver, clothing, horses, and plenty of food. Elisha meets the king at the city gates and says, there ya go, the people are taken care of, but not you. And then he stands aside and as the people rush for the Aramean camp, they trample the king to death. This Elisha guy really has a vengeful streak in him. He does not like being teased or questioned.
- Remember the woman from four days ago whose son Elisha revived by sleeping with him? Well, seven years have gone by, she had left town with her son on Elisha’s advice. She’s back, only to find her home and lands have been seized. Elisha sends her to the new king. After hearing her story, the king assigns her a protector and makes sure she gets back her land and seven years of profit. Elisha heads off to Damascus, where the king there is very ill. The king sends his trusted confidant to Elisha to ask for help. Elisha tells Hazael, the confidant, that in a sense the king will survive his illness, because, wink, wink, he’s going to die from assassination and Hazael will be the new king. Initially dumbstuck, Hazael gets on board really quickly, and in the night, smothers the king. Hazael goes on to be king, a cruel one, which Elisha foresaw. He rapes, pillages, etc., etc., all the fun things we’ve come to associate with biblical kings that have no real regard for anyone else.
- God, through Elisha, is not done with the house of Ahab. Remember all that time that God kept promising to destroy Ahab’s lineage? Well now, annointed by Elisha, Jehu, son of Jehosophat, is in charge on the “good” side, and Joram, son of Ahab is on the “bad”. Jehu heads for Ahab’s palace, there’s a bit of interplay with messengers and the like, as there always is. Jehu’s men kill Joram, and for good measure, his friend Ahaziah, king of Judah. Then they head to town to confront mom, Jezebel, who taunts them from a window in her tower. But no one really likes Jezebel, and her eunuch attendants toss her out the window, where dogs tear her body apart. Jehu and company head to a local tavern to celebrate.
- So Jehu’s not done with Ahab’s lineage. He sends out messengers to the 70 relatives in the immediate area, advising them that he’s coming for them and prepare to defend themselves. They respond that they surrender and will do what he wants if he spares them. He responds to cut off the heads of the most senior member of their family and send it to him. They do so, he has the heads piled up on the floor and calls the families forward, accuses them of disloyalty to their own families and slaughters them all. He then does much the same in surrounding regions. And, to root out all the Baal worshipers, he seeks out their temples, puts them under siege, and slaughters all the worshippers. No opportunities given for remorse, repentance, nor change.
- Today, we have the ferreting out and putting to death of the last remnants of Ahab’s family and the family of those nearby kings who supported him. As well as whatever priests and adherents of Baal anyone can find. And destroying altars and idols of Baal as well. Much rejoicing follows. After all, who doesn’t like to celebrate the slaughter of enemies and heretics?
- Israel and Judah had a new boy king, Jehoash, who reigned from age 7 to 30. Important notes about his reign? Although he honored all the teachings of the Torah, he made no further attempts to cleanse idol or other god worship from the lands. It was discovered that the Temple priests were not using donated monies to keep the Temple in repair. He instituted a system where money was collected in strongboxes and when they were full, it was given to craftsmen to handle repairs. However, the priests did nothing to supervise the craftsmen, leaving things to the honor system, and little, it appears, got done. Towards the end of his reign, when King Hazael of Aram attacked Jerusalem, Jehoash took all the silver, gold, and monies in the Temple and treasury. He sent it as a bribe to Hazael to break off his attack, which he did, since all he really wanted was the loot to begin with. Jehoash’s courtiers had had enough of him and assassinated him. End reign.
- Another Jehoash, Jehoahaz, and another Joash… we are treated to short bios of three kings who followed yesterday’s Joash and Jehoash, for an average of about fifteen years each in reign. Reverting to past behaviors, for the most part, they don’t follow the Torah. Each, to varying degrees of success, fights off various attempts at incursion by the folk of Aram. Elisha makes a brief appearance to assist one of them, but is vague in his instructions and things don’t go well. Elisha dies. Little is said about it other than an apocryphal tale of once a random corpse was buried in Elisha’s grave to hide it, and when it came in contact with Elisha’s bones, it came back to life.
- Judah, Jeroboam, Joahaz, Jehoaddan, Joktheel. I’m beginning to feel like I’m doing the NY Times Spelling Bee and trying to get all the words that start with the letter J. Kings, mothers, fathers, places. More challenges, more fights, more killing. Some folk follow the Torah, some don’t. Some are killed, some aren’t (though mostly they are, because, that seems to be God’s modus operandi for people who don’t follow the Torah, and sometimes those who do). Things get better, things get worse. Another 70 or so years pass.
- It is tempting, as the litany of the succession of kings who “did what is displeasing to the Lord” continues, to just say – lots of kings, didn’t follow the Torah, God sends someone to assassinate and supplant each one, rinse and repeat. Yeah, I’ll leave it there.
- We pause to look at one king in particular, Ahaz (thank goodness it’s not another J name), who became king of Judah at age 22. He reigned for many years, he didn’t follow the Torah. In fact, he went out of his way to follow alternative gods. Sacrifices were upped, particularly those involving blood and fire, and not just of animals, but people too. Including his own son, whom he apparently burned alive to appease one or another god. It is also noted that he built a subterranean passage between the palace and Temple. Apparently, he wanted a short, and secret, way to attend sacrifices. One thinks he might have had issues.
- It is fascinating how each chapter in this book starts with “so and so became king and he did things that were displeasing to God”. Followed by a litany of what he did, and an enumeration of the forbidden practices that the population engaged in. We’re talking decades, generations, probably centuries if we add it all up. And all that God seems to do is whine about it, with a sort of “Why won’t you listen to me? If you’re not going to do what I say, I’m going to stop talking to you.” And finally, that’s what he does. He stops talking to and interacting with the various tribes of Israelites. And they go on, blithely making sacrifices and prayers to both he and other gods, as if… they don’t really care that he’s not talking to them anymore. So much for all that awe and worship….
- Oh finally, a king who decides to follow the laws of the Torah, Hosea. We don’t find out much about him, other than that he’s successful in some campaigns against neighboring kingdoms, something which his predecessors were not. Then we abruptly switch to Hezekiah, king of Assyriah, who’s not only not following the rules, but is actively giving away the store to any and all if they’ll just leave him alone. Even his advisors are telling him this isn’t going to go well.
- King Hezekiah of Judah is a little upset. After all, he’s been a good king, he’s followed the rules of the Torah, he’s prayed to God. But here’s the armies of Assyria at his doorstep, threatening laying siege to his kingdom and threatening invasion. In what seems the antithesis to today’s daf yomi portion, “flattery will get you nowhere”, he prays to God, enumerating God’s good qualities and mightiness. And, God responds by visiting the Assyrian armies during the night and wiping out 185k troops. Apparently, sometimes, flattery will get you what you’re hoping for. Of course, he’d backed it up with his history.
- Hezekiah’s getting old and sick, and prays to God again, reminding him how faithful he’s always been. God hears him and sends the prophet Isaiah to let him know he’ll be cured within three days and live another fifteen years, and he better make good use of them. Somewhere in here there’s a visit from Babylonian nobles who Hezekiah shows all his treasures to. I gather he wasn’t supposed to, because Isaiah comes back and tells him that the Babylonians get everything he showed them, leaving his treasury empty. Still, during his last fifteen years, he creates and leaves behind a complete system for delivering water to the entire region, with storage, conduits, running water, and even pools.
- Manasseh takes up the reign at age 12, and is king for 55 years. He’s the worst of the worst, not only rebuilding all the torn down altars and replacing the idols, but getting in mysticism, human sacrifice (including his own son), and more. He kills random citizens. God swears he’s going to wipe Jerusalem off the map. And then, nothing. We move on to Amon, who becomes king at age 22. He only reigns for 2 years as he’s so disliked by his courtiers that they assassinate him. And then the people assassinate them. This is the weirdest book….
- A new king, Josiah, 8 years old. Reigns for 33 years. For a change follows the Torah and believes in God. But doesn’t learn from history (albeit it happened, by my estimation a good couple of centuries before his birth). Once again the Temple workers need to be paid. Once again, as an earlier king in this book did, he directs that money be taken from the Treasury and sent to the overseers to pay the workers. Once again, no one is made accountable for the process, it’s just left to happen, organically. Once again, there is corruption. And, once again, the king, and God, get pissed off. And, once again, neither does anything but be pissed off and send off missives letting those involved know they are pissed off. I can’t wait for this long lineage of incompetent kings to just end.
- Well then, I was wrong about Josiah. He does follow through. He has all the temples and altars and idols of other gods destroyed. He burns their priests on those altars. He goes after the male prostitutes, once again. Never the female ones, I note. A decade of death and destruction in the name of God, rooting out believers of other faiths. Some of them killed, others converted. Still, God’s not pleased and remains pissy about Judah and Jerusalem. Josiah is killed by the current Egyptian pharoah. His son, Jehoahaz, takes his place, but is immediately arrested by the pharaoh, who puts his own son, Eliakim, on the throne. And see, it is something about “J” names, he changes his to Jehoiakim so that the people will accept him. He restores idol worship and loots the treasury.
- Unsurprisingly, God not happy with Jehoiakim, and “sends” the armies of various neighboring states against him. He dies. His son takes over, another J… Jehoiachin, 18 years old, takes over. He’s no better than dad. But, the Egyptian pharaoah no longer has power. The king of Babylon is now in play, and he marches in and takes over, putting in place Jehoiachin’s uncle, Mattaniah, naming him Zedekiah, a break in the J-line. Z is just as bad as his nephew and brother, but, he also doesn’t like Babylon’s king and rebels….
- The king of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar, isn’t through with Jerusalem, Judah, nor Israel. He aims for it all. First it’s a siege, then it’s the imprisonment, maiming, and/or assassination of all the nobles, priests, and anyone of importance. And, of course, the infamous burning down of the Temple. The book ends with Jehoiachin, who for many years at this point, has been imprisoned in exile, being pardoned, released, and given a stipend for the rest of his life, for accepting the Babylonian way of things. End scene.