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Bush To Discuss Health Care During Visit To Wendy’s

bushburger– AP Wire –
Does this really need a comment?
Okay, from the Wendy’s International website:

We care deeply about the quality of our food. Since Dave Thomas opened the first Wendy’s® restaurant in 1969, we’ve served great-tasting, freshly prepared food, just the way you want it.

You manage your daily intake of food according to what’s important to you. Experts agree that it is important to maintain balance. The U.S. Department of Agriculture encourages regular physical activity; eating a variety of grains and plenty of fruits and vegetables; and choosing foods sensibly for good health.

Wendy’s, in collaboration with the American Dietetic Association, has created a guide, “Eating Better Together”, to help you and your family make menu choices for a healthier lifestyle. You’ll find tips about exercise and calorie intake, the importance of dairy and calcium and how to choose a healthy meal while dining out.

At Wendy’s, you can choose from a wide variety of great-tasting, satisfying meal options regardless of how you want to eat. Perhaps you want to look and feel fit. Or you have dietary restrictions for medical reasons. Or you’re controlling your weight.

In this section of wendys.com, we show you how Wendy’s can help address some of your specific dietary concerns. Armed with the right information, you can choose meals that taste great, but also meet your personal goals.

Possibly eating somewhere that doesn’t serve fast food? Not that I don’t like, and when I was back in the States, occasionally ate at, Wendy’s, but I went in kind of figuring that a double burger with mayo, extra large fries, and a frosty, weren’t exactly high on the health food list…

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Windows on India and Oyster Bar

CaB Magazine
January 1994

You Are Where You Eat
Restaurant Reviews

For some time now I have been convinced that there is only one kitchen in Little India. If you’re not familiar with the region of our city, it hangs about on a one block section of East 6th Street stretching between 1st and 2nd Avenues, and trailing off on each of them for a block to the north and south. It shouldn’t be confused with the other Little India up near Gramercy Park. Regardless of which of the couple dozen dens of Indian cuisine we have entered over the years, the menu was nearly unvaried, the plates arrived the same, and the same waiter could often be found in a rival establishment on another venture. We were quite sure that they merely ducked out the back door to a communal kitchen in mid-block and ducked back in to whichever eatery struck their fancy at the moment.

Decor often seems the most differentiating factor, with the gamut run from handwoven rugs, saris and sitars to one upstairs eatery that looks like a warehouse full of Christmas tree decorations exploded across its walls, ceiling, and yes, even floor. Over time, we’ve paid little attention to one enterprise on the corner of 6th and 1st, as it looked more like a chi-chi bistro than a Bengali beanery. However, on a recent, rainy night, we ventured inside this sanctuary of Indian haute cuisine, Windows on India.

We settled in a back corner and began our usual perusal of the menu. To begin with, the selection is much farther ranging than the usual Sixth Street fare. Selections from all over the Indian subcontinent are available, the most interesting, which we haven’t seen elsewhere, are those from the southern tip of India. Even a short list of Indonesian dishes make it onto the back page. The English descriptions of dishes actually make sense, another novelty.

Beginning with a sampling of breads and appetizers was, of course, a must. There are the usual nans, pooris, parathas, papadams and chapatis, with the addition of versions like mint and roasted garlic, but also a tempting whole wheat rooti and a mouthwatering spring onion, clay oven cooked kulcha.

Hot and cold appetizers abound, from basic salads to a spectacular dal papri, a cold salad of potatoes, yogurt and tamarind sauce topped with crunchy diamonds of fried lentil fritters – almost as addictive as goldfish, the cheddar cheese variety, of course. Hot dishes include banana fritters, eggplant fritters and vegetable fritters (somebody in the kitchen must love that word…). Pakoras and tikkas and kebabs vie with lentil donuts and sauteed chicken livers.

A large selection of main courses come from the tandoori, or clay oven. These are always among our favorites, and here they are done to perfection. Not only that, but in addition to the usual chicken, lamb and beef, there are delectable steaks of salmon and swordfish and even marinated shrimp. Vegetarian dishes are not shirked, with a list that will keep even the most jaded grain and bean fiend in your clan happy. Tangy curries, madras, kurmas, kashmiris, bhunas and vindaloos are only the start to lists of chicken, lamb, beef, fish, shrimp and lobster dishes. The Indonesian sampling is heavy on coconut, but a winner nonetheless. And to top it all off, Windows offers a half dozen combination dinners that allow you to sample several dishes at once!

Although we make it a practice to avoid desserts in Asian restaurants, as New York versions are rarely worth saving a trip down to Little Italy, this place goes beyond (though includes) the usual firni, or rose water pudding and ice cream to show off some traditional desserts like fried sweet cheese balls in rose water syrup, rice pudding with fruit and cardamom, and a homemade pistachio and saffron ice cream.

We’ll be back, we’ve been back, and you should give it a try too. It’s worth walking all the way to the end of the block.

Windows on India, 344 East Sixth Street (at First Avenue), 477-5956. Open 7 days a week, lunch and inner. Cash or credit cards. $10-20 for dinner, depending on just how far you want to go.

When I first moved to New York City I began hearing about this place in Grand Central Station. The station itself was worth the trip, back in those days we still had the giant Kodak photo mounted in the main waiting room. It’s a shame that all they could find to replace it with was a parade of musical artistes panhandling with the city’s blessings. Not to knock some of the talent, and the acoustics are great, but I miss the view. Anyway, I used to hear about this “little place” down in the depths of the station called Oyster Bar. It was years before I got around to checking it out, all I could envision was a lunch counter with a bunch of commuters slurping down oysters on the half shell and washing them down with cold beer. Not bad way to head for home, but who wanted to go down in the basement for that?

Happily, I finally got around to checking this place out. Now, it depends where you walk in on Oyster Bar as to what kind of impression it’s going to make. I happened on the saloon entrance first, a dark-wood paneled stairway leading down into a just as dark-wood paneled, well, saloon. A huge L-shaped bar dominates two sides of the room, the tables are covered with red and white checked cloths, there are swinging saloon-style doors on the entrance and the only thing missing is sawdust on the floor. Of course you could enter into the room with the giant lunch counter that reminds me of nothing so much as a floor plan of the Atlanta airport. And indeed, there are folks sucking down mollusks and quaffing ale. Or then there’s the tile bedecked dining room…Need I go on? This place is huge. Oh, I forgot, there’s this long table displaying the desserts of the day laid out to dazzle the eye. It does.

The menu is something of a chore. First, it’s the size of a page from a large tabloid, say, The National Enquirer. Second, while basically the menu itself never changes, what portion of it is actually available does. What I mean to say is, well, and nobody else will tell you this (our first time in we ordered half a dozen things that weren’t available before the waitress explained), the only things available are the things that have prices next to them. And those change daily. Not just which things have prices, but what the prices are. Yup, they just handwrite in the prices of the day next to the catch of the day. And catch of the day is right on target because the menu is fish. This is not a place for steak or fried chicken. Fish. Okay, and shellfish.

Soups are winners here. Unanimous thumbs-up for the New England and Manhattan clam chowders, mixed reviews on the she-crab soup. The cold poached trout with horseradish is a big hit with our entire clan, but even better, the oyster pan roast, my personal favorite. However, the keys to Oyster Bar are the oysters. While not cheap, ranging from one to three dollars apiece, this is the place to sample those raw delicacies from all over the world. It gave us a chance to really begin to appreciate the diversity of flavors and textures that these things come in. My own preferences lean towards those from the cooler waters around Alaska and Washington states, where they grow plump and juicy so slowly that some of them have probably been there since Cornelius Corneliszoon invented the wind-powered sawmill (look it up, he really did).

Fish is generally prepared simply. You select which of the half dozen to dozen species came in that day, the chef fillets it, cooks it, and serves it to you. No fancy, schmancy sauces or phallic towers of gewgaw perched amidst a moat overrun with flotsam and jetsam. Just delicious, simply prepared, fish.

Oh, and for years, this place has had one of the best American white wine lists in New York, if not the country. And to make it even better, they’ve just opened a wine bar – sixty plus samplings by the glass. Can’t beat that with a grapevine.

Finish up with a trip to look at the dessert table. If nothing catches your eye, your stomach, your heart, you’re probably comatose. Get thee to a surgery. When they have it, I love the fig forte. Give it a try. Head for the depths of the station, and please, at least give a smile to the musician plugging away outside the doors.

Oyster Bar, Grand Central Station, 490-6650. Open Monday to Friday only, for lunch and dinner. Cash or credit cards. Lunch $20-25, Dinner $30-40.

CaB magazine was one of the first publications I ever wrote for. Published by my dear friend Andrew Martin, it covered the Cabaret, Theater, Music and Dining scene in New York City, long before slick publications like Time Out NY and Where NY became popular. We had great fun writing it, and some wonderful writers contributed to its pages. When the magazine folded in the mid-90s, Andrew disappeared from the scene, and rumors had it that he departed from this existence not long after. I was thrilled to find out in mid-October 2005, a decade later, that the rumors were just that. Andrew contacted me after finding my site via that omnipresent force, Google. He’s alive and well and a member of a comedy troupe called Meet the Mistake. Somehow quite fitting!

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Florencio, Providencia, Bodega Sur de Los Andes, Matambre Relleno

Cuisine & Vins
March 2007, page 54-55

cuisine insider tips
Argentina for beginners

Coming into this month there are so many things to look at – it’s Women’s month, we’re moving into the end of summer and harvest season, and, of course there are important dates like St. Patrick’s Day and the change in Daylight Savings Time, which affects us here in Argentina only in that it changes our time relationship to the rest of the world by an hour.


Florencio - pateMy first thoughts for a month devoted to women, leprechauns aside, were to look at a couple of favorite restaurants that are owned and run by women. Of my three favorites, I’ve covered one in a recent column, El Federal, so I’ll have to pass on covering it again. The others are both favorite lunch spots. I almost hesitate to cover it, as it’s a tiny little spot with only fourteen seats. On the other hand, the woman who owns it, María Laura D´Aloisio, and her brother, are about to open a second, larger spot, with the same theme, but for dinner. They’re not giving up the original space, so both will continue. The restaurant is Florencio, and it’s located up on the hill behind the British Embassy in Recoleta, at Francisco de Vittoria 2363, 4807-6477. It’s not easy to find, but it’s worth making the effort. Maria Laura makes what are quite possibly the best sandwiches in the city, not to mention her other dishes – well, one, easily the best chicken liver mushroom paté around. Start with the fact that she makes all her own bread, working with just one assistant in a kitchen the size of standard bathroom. Add to that pristinely fresh ingredients, in delicious combinations, friendly service, and an intimate atmosphere, and she’s simply got a completely winning setup. Maria Laura is fanatical, there’s no other word for it, about the quality of both what goes into her food, and its presentation, and it shows. It’s open for lunch Monday through Saturday, and dinner Tuesday and Friday only. When I first hear that she was opening a second, and larger spot, I began to worry – would my beloved lunch spot disappear? But, she claims there are no worries to be had, she will continue to operate the original Florencio for lunch, and the new locale will be their focus for dinner – which probably means eliminating the two evenings of dinner service at the original spot. The new venue will be on Avenida Libertador, just the other side of the Palais du Glace.


Providencia - cazuelita
Thinking along other lines, harvest season brings to mind the cornucopia of fresh ingredients that area available here. While most folks think about Buenos Aires in terms of its beef, one of the things I love about the city is the constant access to fresh, seasonal produce. I just wish more restaurants would take advantage of the bounty at their fingertips. But this also gives me the opportunity to offer up another favorite lunch spot, also run by a woman, Carmen Paz, even though she says she’s part of a team of owners, it only takes a few minutes of watching the activity to know who’s pretty much running the show. The spot, Providencia, located behind a bright orange door that has a sign telling you to knock loudly, at Cabrera 5995, corner of Arevalo, in Palermo, 4772-8507, which is also the site of Los 7 Panes bakery, easily one of the best spots for bread in the entire city. The restaurant serves up vegetarian cuisine, though we’re not talking about chewy brown food and bean sprouts, we’re talking about creative tarts, stews, soups, and pastas – when they have it, don’t miss out on their masa crocante rellena, a large baked pasta round folded over a delicious amalgam of vegetables and cheeses. Like Florencio, Providencia is primarily just a lunch spot, and only opens for dinner on occasional nights when the weather is nice and they’re in the mood.


This section, the “Best Value March 07” for Bodega Sur de los Andes was not something I wrote. It was inserted into the middle of my column by the editors as a promotion (the owner of the bodega is the brother of the editor-in-chief of the magazine). Not that I particularly object, I happen to like Sur de los Andes wines quite a bit. My original copy featured recommendations for two Cabernet Franc based wines from Finca Morera and Kaufmann, reproduced below the insert.

Sur de los Andes BonardaMarch’s Best Value 07. Sur de los Andes experienced the greatest growth of any Argentine producer in to the U.S. in 2006, rising more than 150 places to finish in 42nd position among all exporters. For the last year, U.S. sales reached U$D 298,000 from just over 7,000 twelve bottle cases. An Argentine businessman created Sur de los Andes in September 2005. In the first year since inception, the bodega has positioned itself as an important player in the United States, gaining market position over many prestigious Argentine wineries. Much of the credit for this success is due to the excellent price/quality ratio of the portfolio and to the winemaking ability of Pablo Durrigutti who is in complete control of all phases of the winemaking operation. The total amount of Argentine wine exported to the United States during 2006, not including bulk wine, was U$D 69.4 million dollars from 2.4 million cases. Argentine wine sales to the U.S. dominate those to other marketplaces, amounting to 25% of all Argentine exports. This is clearly shown by the fact that the next three leading importers of Argentine wine, The United Kingdom, Brazil and Canada, together import 27%. For the year 2006 a record total of 224 producers exported wine to the United States – with the top ten wineries representing 50% of sales. In its first full year of operation, Bodega Sur de los Andes was able to introduce its portfolio into 22 of the 48 contiguous states in the United States including the largest and most competitive: New York, California, Texas and Florida. Sur de los Andes produces wines from the traditional Argentine grapes, Malbec, Bonarda and Torrontés, with one blend of Malbec and Cabernet Sauvignon all at the basic level. There are two reserve level products, a Malbec and a Bonarda and a premium product, Malbec Grand Reserve. The company also plans to increase their presence considerably in the local Argentine market, focusing on wine shops and restaurants of mid and high-level cuisine.

morera - cabernet francWhile of course Argentina is most associated with Malbec, folks often forget that many other grape varieties go into the wines here. Not just the usual suspects like Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon, but many interesting Italian and French varietals as well. One of my favorites grapes is the Cabernet Franc – one of the two parents of the cross that produced Cabernet Sauvignon, the other being Sauvignon Blanc – yes, a white grape. Cabernet Franc tends to be more rustic in style than it’s offspring, with complex flavors of olives and bacon fat blended beautifully with rich red fruits. kaufman - cabernet francOne of the interesting things about the grape is that it lends itself well to both rich, full bodied wines – there are some spectacular Bordeaux that are nearly all Cabernet Franc, as well as some Italian wines – and to light, easy drinking styles, like many of the Loire Valley reds. Here in Argentina it’s a less commonly grown grape, but when cared for, produces some excellent wines. My two favorites are the Finca Morera, a delicious tasting red that leans towards the lighter side with flavors of red plums, dried herbs, and green olives; and the Kaufman, a full bodied blend of mixed red fruits, spices, dried tobacco leaf, and green olives. Both are excellent, and both are great late summer wines – I recommend the former with poultry and richer fish dishes, and the latter is a great alternative to Malbec with that steak right off the parrilla.


Matambre
I often get asked about what are the “must try” dishes in Buenos Aires other than a good steak. One of my favorites, and probably a favorite of most of the population, is the matambre relleno. Not to be confused with the cut of meat called a matambre, which is a skirt steak, or sometimes used to refer to a flank steak, this dish makes use of that cut of meat rolled around a filling that’s usually made up of hard boiled eggs, carrots, spinach, peppers, and onions. It’s poached and then roasted, and generally served chilled or room temperature in slices, accompanied by another local fave, the ensalada rusa, a mix of diced potato, carrots, and peas with a mayonnaise dressing. It’s also sometimes served napolitana style, which means the slices are topped with a little tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese, and then stuck under a broiler to get all browned and bubbly. Either way, it’s a don’t miss appetizer in local restaurants.


In October 2006, I started writing for this Spanish language magazine, covering their English language section for travellers. I wrote for them for about two years. The copy editor, apparently not fluent in English, used to put each paragraph in its own text box on a two column page, in what often seemed to be random order, making the thread of the column difficult to follow. I’ve restored the paragraphs to their original order.

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Villa Amalfi and Sun Hop Shing Tea House

CaB Magazine
Summer 1993

You Are Where You Eat
Restaurant Reviews

The date was July 29, 1982. A truck, my best friend’s boyfriend Steve, and myself rolled into New York City. The Big Apple. Life in the fast lane. The next night I went out on the town. I don’t remember anything but the name of it, I was too excited to be here. A Midwesterner does Greenwich Village. Villa Amalfi.

I still get excited being in Greenwich Village, but that’s another story. Since that time I have, however, managed to pop myself back into this long standing Italian eatery enough times to get a handle on the food. The place has a glassed in “porch”, faux marble walls, and a maitre d’ beckoning you in from the street. This looks like a setup for a bad meal, if not a bad movie. Luckily, it’s neither. For classic Italian fare, correctly prepared with minimal tinkering, this is the place to go.

During the summer we sit ourselves down in the little 2-3 table outdoor alcove where we can watch the flow of life in the streets. Unless we’re feeling fancy a round of the house white wine to sip on while we look over the menu is actually a pretty good choice. Sampling the appetizers gives us more time to think about life, liberty, and the pursuit of good dining. Baked clams oreganato are tasty and an occasionally available antipasto platter is good, though a bit hefty. Our favorites lean towards the refreshingly delicious prosciutto and melon, with large slabs of honeydew draped with this salty ham (ask for the aged balsamic vinegar to splash on it rather than the lemon wedges), and the huge platter of fried calamari, perfectly crisp on the outside, tender on the inside, and a mild, but zesty, dipping sauce.

The main course selection is exactly what you’d expect by this point in your adventure. Chicken and veal dishes, piccata, marsala, saltimbocca are cooked just the way you want them to be. Light sauces with clean, clear flavors, the meat tender and juicy. Pastas with red sauces, white sauces, cream sauces, and wine sauces. The flavors of herbs permeate the dishes, the pasta cooked just a touch al dente, all arrayed on platters the size of Aunt Sadie’s seder plate. Our favorites are the carbonara, with tiny bits of smoky bacon, fresh peas, and a cream sauce that’s richer than Ross Perot, and a recent night’s special of fusilli with grilled shrimp, sauteed chicken, peas, artichoke hearts and tomatoes, in a light jus created from the juices of all these little delicacies.

The decision must be made midway through the main course. To save room for dessert or not? Villa Amalfi serves up a solid array of New York classics, like cheesecake, fruit tarts, and creme caramel. All are, as might be expected, properly prepared and tasty. It is, however, a shame that there aren’t more classic Italian selections on the menu, except as specials. We often opt for espressos and glasses of grappa or Averna to end the evening. All in all, next time you’re in the mood for good Italian food a definite couple of cuts above the spaghetti and meatballs at your neighborhood pizzeria, make the trip here.

Villa Amalfi, 84-86 7th Avenue (at West 4th Street). Open 7 days a week. All major credit cards. Dinner, $30-35.

For those of you who are regular readers of this column, you know that one of my favorite things to find is a “hole-in-the-wall” kind of place that serves good food at low prices. In this category fall almost, though not quite, all dim sum restaurants. I’ve seen somewhere around two dozen different translations for “dim sum” into English, but my pick of the batch comes out something like “a little bit of the heart.” The tradition of dim sum started in the old Chinese tea house, a place where businessmen came to negotiate and strike deals. You sat down, ordered and paid for a pot of tea. As a courtesy the proprietor would often bring around small plates of snacks whipped up in the kitchen. Of course here in the US of A, we’ve turned it around – we pay for the food and the tea is free.

New York has dozens and dozens of places one can go for dim sum, ranging from cheap to pricey, bad to good, and small to immense (at one place I’ve been the waitstaff actually use walkie talkies to communicate with the maitre d’ and the kitchen). My hands-down favorite though is a little place on lower Mott Street called Sun Hop Shing Tea House. This unassuming little, okay, let’s face it, dive, serves a tasty selection of dim sum, and doesn’t take more than a nibble out of our wallets at the end of it all.

The process of eating dim sum is half the joy of eating it. Waitresses (almost always waitresses, rarely waiters), often motherly looking, wheel carts piled with dishes of generally one to four different dim sum on them. They come and stand next to your table with the cart and start talking very fast in what I’m sure is an obscure dialect of Chinese, meanwhile pointing at the various dishes as I’m sure they’re extolling the virtues of each. If you’re lucky, you can get the words “beef, pork, chicken, shrimp, or vegetable” out of them. You point at the ones that you’re not quite convinced you can’t live without, and they place a plate on your table. You then eat and wait for the next cart and its delicacies. If you have favorites you can ask, and be assured that the next time that cart is available, but not before, they’ll remember you asked for the dish.

Dim sum is generally an early afternoon tradition, and in New York is often limited to weekend lunchtimes. Luckily Sun Hop Shing serves dim sum daily, and usually from mid-morning to late afternoon. Since I know none of the Chinese names for anything you might eat, and each restaurant calls them something different anyway, I’ll describe the gang’s favorites here. There are little rich noodle dumplings, usually called siu mai, that come in absolutely delicious beef and shrimp varieties. Then there are long rich noodle rolls, looking something like an uncooked extra large egg roll, the best of which are the ones stuffed with vegetables and peanuts. Definitely try the taro root cakes, among the best I’ve tried in Chinatown. their beef meatballs with scallions are pretty darn good, and there is a wide variety of deep-fried turnovers and dumplings, especially the chicken ones, that are outstanding. However, the one “must” each time we go are the steamed pork buns. Tender, rich, succulent bits of barbecued roast pork in a steamed, slightly sweet dough (don’t be surprised that it’s not browned), these are not be missed, make sure to ask for them if they don’t come around. There are also some good dim sum desserts, including custard, sweet bean cakes, and “almond” tofu in honey. What more can you ask for than this little bit of heart?

Sun Hop Shing Tea House, 21 Mott Street (at Mosco St.), 267-2729. Open daily, dim sum service roughly mid-morning to mid-afternoon. No reservations. Cash only. Lunch $5-10.

CaB magazine was one of the first publications I ever wrote for. Published by my dear friend Andrew Martin, it covered the Cabaret, Theater, Music and Dining scene in New York City, long before slick publications like Time Out NY and Where NY became popular. We had great fun writing it, and some wonderful writers contributed to its pages. When the magazine folded in the mid-90s, Andrew disappeared from the scene, and rumors had it that he departed from this existence not long after. I was thrilled to find out in mid-October 2005, a decade later, that the rumors were just that. Andrew contacted me after finding my site via that omnipresent force, Google. He’s alive and well and a member of a comedy troupe called Meet the Mistake. Somehow quite fitting!

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Genesis – “Origin”

Image

Someone summed Genesis up as: “On its own, the book of Genesis reads like a string of epic stories: a semi-tragic saga of a world that just keeps going wrong, despite its Creator’s intentions. But Genesis isn’t a stand-alone book. It’s the first installment in the five-part Torah (or Pentateuch). The Torah is Israel’s origin story: it’s the history of how the nation of Israel got its population, its land, and its religion.”

It’s worth noting that the name Genesis, by which we know the book, is derived from Greek. The original name in Hebrew is Bereshit, taken from the opening words, “In the beginning”.

I’m going to dive right in without additional commentary… reposting from my Twitter feed:

  1. The creation of the original dichotomies. It’s all “this or that”. Light v Dark, Evening v Morning, Water v Air, Heaven v Earth, Plants v Trees, Day v Night, Sun v Moon, Sea v Flying Creatures, Animals v Humans. It’s a recipe for eternal conflict.
  2. The word choice for human creation is interesting. Man (“adam”) was “fashioned” from the earth (“adamah”) and life was breathed into him, while woman was “built” from a rib, the same word (“tsela”) used for construction beams. A precursor for a Golem v Robot story!
  3. “She made me eat it.” “The snake made me.” “You’re all a big disappointment, get off my lawn and go have miserable lives.” What’s this at the end about cherubim and whirling, flaming swords guarding the Tree of Knowledge for all eternity? I see a quest in the offing!
  4. How did Cain the eternal wanderer go out to find a wife in town, when he was supposedly one of three people alive? Perhaps Adam & Eve were simply the only humans granted access to Eden? A test of character, which they failed, and a template for the future of humanity.
  5. Adam’s descendants are noted as beginning with Seth, on down to Noah’s kids. Cain’s line, nada. A brief mention of Enoch (Noah’s grandpa) walking with God and simply ceasing to exist rather than dying. Should read the Book of Enoch, apocryphal or not.
    1. I read the Book of Enoch. Jewish apocalyptic literature, which are basically sacred writings that don’t toe the party line. Interesting difference between Jewish apocalyptic and Christian apocalyptic literature – the former is about revelation, the latter about the end of times.
    2. So a surprise that Enoch opens with a vision of the end of times – perhaps why it’s been relegated to the scrapheap of apocrypha. It begins God marching across the world, sorting humanity into righteous and wicked, those who will know eternal peace, and those doomed to oblivion.
    3. Some angels decide that human women are hot, swoop down to earth, screw them, and the women give birth to two-mile tall giants who start destroying the earth. God steps in, puts the fallen angels in a 70-generation time out, gets rid of the giants, and restores the planet.
    4. The fallen angels hire Enoch as their advocate, and he draws up a petition protesting the 70-generation time out. God, in a fiery throne room, tells Enoch to tell his clients that the time out is now eternal. And suggests Enoch get some more deserving clients, like, humanity.
    5. God sends Enoch on a road-trip with a couple of angels. He sees where the fallen angels will spend eternity, followed by various locations where people of different levels of wickedness and righteousness will spend time in perpetuity. The road from Hell to Paradise. End scene.
    6. Enoch shares a travel memoir of what he’s seen. Bad for the wicked, good for the righteous, who the four archangels watching over it all are, and a glimpse of all the places that weather comes from. Yes, weather – wind, rain, snow, clouds, lightning, etc.
    7. The second parable is all about the “Son of Man”, and goes into great detail about this being, a sort of conduit for God on earth. Later, the Catholic church transforms this parable into a portent of the coming of Jesus. Another reason Judaism considers this book apocryphal.
    8. Enoch sees the future destruction of the world. Enoch is Noah’s great-grandpa, and he foresees Noah’s story, different from the story we grew up with. He sees Noah creating a wooden building which will be a seed, or DNA, bank from which to restore all plant and animal life.
    9. The next section of the book is devoted to astronomy. First, a deep dive into the movement of the sun, envisioned as a chariot, and entering and leaving the sky through different portals depending on the season, thus creating differing angles and lengths of time in the sky.
    10. On to the moon, and in similar fashion, entering and leaving by various portals creates the phases of its image. Then, a discourse on the lunar years, and, for the first time in Judaic history, setting the length of the year at 364 days, and various other related phenomena.
    11. The angels give Enoch the task of passing on everything he’s seen to humanity, through his son, Methuselah. Yes, that one. He’s got just one year to teach Methuselah everything there is to know about creation, heaven, hell, earth, humanity, angels, and, well, everything else.
    12. Enoch relates all of the above, plus visions of the future, from Noah to the Exodus, the building of Jerusalem and the Temple, the destruction and rebuilding of both, and the coming of the Messiah. Again, fodder for the Catholic church as a foundational story about Jesus.
    13. The book finishes with Enoch’s admonition to future generations about their behavior in life and how it will affect their afterlives. He spends a lot of time reproaching those who accumulate wealth and possessions, especially at the expense of others.
    14. I would guess that much of this is behind the dropping of the book from Christian canonicity in the 5th century CE, as the church gained in power and wealth. And, of course, it would be completely antithetical to the whole of prosperity theology.
    15. Given that the Book of Enoch was supposedly written down by Enoch himself, it’s not surprising that it doesn’t discuss what happens after the end of his year teaching Methuselah. The Torah and the Talmud tell us that one day, God took him up, and he ceased to exist. Curtain.
  6. Having tangented to read Enoch it’s interesting to read the same account as history rather than his visions. Angels mating with women, but smaller giants who were heroes, not evil. Global corruption humans’ fault, not the angels’. Plans for Noah’s Ark & animal pairs.
  7. Emphasizing the spliced nature of the Torah, we have three clashing narratives: the classic 2 of each animal on Noah’s Ark; God’s demand for 14 of each sacrificial animal (he needs his sacrifices); and Enoch’s inclusion of plant seeds, not mentioned here.
  8. Six months into the storm, God remembers Noah and shuts off the tap. Birds, things dry up, everything off the Ark, Noah builds an altar, sacrifices the extra six pairs of ritually pure animals who just survived the Flood. There’s a Far Side cartoon in there somewhere.
  9. What did Noah’s son Ham do to drunk, naked Noah in the tent under the rainbow? A scholarly debate, but, wink-wink, we have a pretty good idea. “Oh, I was drunk and didn’t know it was happening.” Does he curse Ham? No. Sins of the father… he curses his lineage.
  10. A litany of Noah’s descendants. Caught my eye, Nimrod, the mighty founder of the Hunters lineage. In my childhood, “nimrod” meant “moron”. That shift apparently started by Bugs Bunny in the 1940 episode “A Wild Hare”, as an insult to his Hunter nemesis, Elmer Fudd.
  11. Tired of divisiveness, humans build a tower to symbolize their unity. God’s not having that. Conflict is key to his plan, so he creates new languages & scatters humans across the globe. The Babel story is only 9 sentences, no mention of pride, the Flood, or godhood.
  12. The stick hasn’t worked when it comes to controlling humanity, so God decides to go for the carrot. “Worship me and you get Israel, eternal blessings for your descendants, and damnation for your enemies. Come on, Abraham, get the ball rolling for me here….”
  13. Abraham and nephew Lot, as God demanded, take over Israel. When they begin to clash, Abraham politely orders Lot to pack up his clan and leave. Lot heads to the Jordan Valley, which is greener, but the locals are wicked and not friendly. Then again, Lot is an invader.
  14. Four tribes attack Sodom and defeat the forces there. They take many people as slaves, including Lot & family. Abraham mounts a successful rescue mission, the King of Sodom offers him rewards from the Canaanite god El. Abraham spurns him as not the true God. Setup…?
  15. Abraham: We’re old, we have no kids, I’m dying and leaving everything to my most loyal servant. God: Oh no you ain’t. Sacrifice some animals to me, I’ll give you kids. Abraham: I don’t buy it, but, done! God: By the way, they’re going to be slaves for four centuries.
  16. Abraham gets his wife Sara’s servant Hagar pregnant, at Sara’s urging. Sara regrets it, throws Hagar out. God’s messenger tells her to go back and deal with it, be the bigger woman, promising her son Ishmael will be a bit of a handful, but father of a great lineage.
  17. God: Abraham, you and Sarah, preggers, call him Isaac, create your lineage. Abraham: I’m 100yo, what about Ishmael instead? God: He’s cool, but Isaac’s happening, and he’s my fave. Don’t forget about circumcision, or it’s a deal breaker. Just do it.
  18. Circumcision done. God and two angels appear to Abraham. Pregnancy promised. Sarah ROFL. Angels head to Sodom, God stops Abraham following so he doesn’t see the city’s destruction. Abraham negotiates for justice for the innocents that might be found among the wicked.
  19. Angels arrive at Lot’s house. He invites them in. Townsfolk attack. Lot offers his virgin daughters to rape. Angels step in and rescue Lot’s family. Lot’s wife looks, turns to salt. Lot’s virgin daughters get him drunk, rape him, and get pregnant. Twisted fate?
  20. Abraham and Sarah go to Gerar to live. Afraid of it being another Sodom, they claim to be siblings, so that the king takes Sarah but doesn’t kill Abraham. Wait, aren’t they both 100 years old, why would this even come up? God threatens death and destruction for taking his prophet’s wife. King protests innocence, God says, talk to Abraham. King asks Abraham why. Abraham sputters self-justification, and waits until king has given him land, cattle, slaves, and money to offer forgiveness. God lifts the curse at Abraham’s request. I swear, the rabbis when I was growing up glossed over this stuff.
  21. Sarah gives birth to Isaac. Still the jealous sort, she demands Abraham throw Hagar & Ishmael out. God says do it. Abraham does. Drama in the wilderness. God tells Hagar, Ishmael will be a great man. Happily ever after. Abraham negotiates water rights with the king.
  22. Not convinced of Abraham’s loyalty, God orders him to sacrifice Isaac as a burnt offering on the mountain. Without hesitation Abraham goes for it, stopped at last moment by an angel. God promises innumerable descendants and world dominance. Well that didn’t happen.
  23. Sarah dies. Abraham decries his status as a newcomer, and asks to buy his neighbor Ephron’s cave as a burial site. Ephron offers it free, with the field in front of it. A insists on paying full price. E accepts, ceding the land (Hebron) to A’s lineage in perpetuity.
  24. Abraham to his loyal servant (him again?), “Grab my balls and swear to bring Isaac a wife from my homeland, he’s not marrying a local heathen girl.” Servant returns to homeland, finds Rebekah, gifts her family lots of loot, brings her back. Isaac marries her. Side note: domesticated camels didn’t exist in the age of the patriarchs, and wouldn’t for many centuries, calling into question when this account was written.
  25. The story of Abraham ends. He remarried after Sarah, to Keturah, and they had six kids. He sent gifts to “all the sons he’d had via concubines” (how many?) before dying, including Ishmael, whose lineage is listed here. On his death, everything remaining went to Isaac. Isaac and new bride Rebekah have no kids until he’s 60 and she’s 40, at which point, in a repeat of the Abraham and Sarah story, God appears, promises them kids who will lead nations, and Rebekah gives birth to twins, Esau, and Jacob, the latter coming out grasping for more.
  26. In another repeat, Isaac and Rebekah pretend to be siblings. Same king catches on, asks why, Isaac sputters same justifications as Abraham did. King sends him away, he moves around a bit looking for good land and water, king later approaches and proposes treaty. Side note at end, about Esau, at age 40, taking two wives from outside the community, to the bitter dismay of his parents. And setting up the future we all know is coming, no doubt.
  27. Rebekah cajoles Jacob into tricking his dying father Isaac to receive his blessing and inheritance, and for the second time, cheating his brother Esau, who threatens Jacob’s death. Why? Rebekah laments over the shame she feels over Esau’s marrying outside the clan.
  28. Isaac, acquiescing to Rebekah’s entreats, blesses Jacob again and sends him to live with his uncle. Esau, realizing the error of his marriages, takes a third wife, his cousin, Ishmael’s daughter. On the road, Jacob has a dream where God gives him the land where he is. On waking, Jacob not only declares the land his, but declares… IF God gives me everything I dreamed about and want, THEN I’ll believe in him and follow his rules. Patriarch of our faith or not, I’d never realized just what a greedy ingrate Jacob was.
  29. Jacob arrives at his uncle’s. In short order, he declares intentions to marry his younger cousin, Rachel, the pretty one, in exchange for seven years work. Seven years on, in a revenge moment for his trickery of Isaac, his uncle sends him the older, Leah, in the dark. Pissed off, Jacob nonetheless works another seven years to marry Rachel as well. After marrying her too, he clearly doesn’t ignore Leah, as they have four sons together (Reuben, Simon, Levi, Judah), though Rachel has none.
  30. Rachel, jealous, begs Jacob for children, and gives her maid to him, who bears sons, and Rachel takes them as her own. Leah, not to be outdone, does the same with her servant, and then has more kids herself. Rachel finally has a son, Joseph. Jacob wants to leave his uncle’s lands. They decide on payment for services rendered via part of Laban’s flock of sheep. Laban hides most of his flock. Jacob figures it out, and in turn, finds a way to take almost the entire flock. Family corruption and disloyalty runs rampant.
  31. Afraid, Jacob tells Rachel and Leah they are leaving, and explains what their father has done. They gather up their possessions and head out, Rachel also steals all her father’s idols. Laban, egged on by his scheming and jealous sons, pursues and confronts Jacob. With Jacob’s permission under duress, he searches the camp for his idols, with Jacob’s promise to kill whoever stole them. Rachel hides them, he doesn’t find them. They argue over Jacob’s 20 years of service to Laban. They agree on a literal line in the sand neither will cross.
  32. Jacob approaches his homeland and sends messengers ahead to let his estranged brother Esau know he is coming. Esau doesn’t verbally respond, but sets out with a regiment of soldiers. Jacob, afraid, divides his camp in two, hiding his family and valuables away, again. He sends part of his flock, divided in waves of tribute to Esau, ahead with servants. He spends the night wrestling, literally or in a dream, with a shadowy, supernatural figure who is never identified, and who, exasperated by not beating Jacob, cripples his hip with a touch.
  33. Esau arrives. Jacob: sorry, have some gifts. Esau: nice family, hey, water under the bridge, it’s all good, come home. Jacob: you go ahead, we’ll follow. Esau: okay. He heads out. Jacob goes elsewhere nearby and settles in. He’s gaming Esau again, I feel it.
  34. Local boy rapes Jacob’s daughter Dinah. His father asks Jacob for clemency, and son offers to marry her. Jacob agrees on condition that they, and all other local men, get circumcised. They do, but while they’re in pain, disabled, two of Jacob’s sons kill them all.
  35. God suggests heading elsewhere and creating a shrine to himself. Jacob agrees, has his whole family destroy idols to other gods. They head out. Rachel dies giving birth to Jacob’s twelfth son (via two wives, two maids). God renames Jacob as Israel. Isaac dies at 180.
  36. Flashback to the other brother. After Jacob left, Esau packed up and left with wives and kids and settled elsewhere, and had more wives and kids. So, since Jacob abandoned the lands he cheated Esau out of, who lived there? Did Jacob do it just for spite, not gain?
  37. Asked and answered. Jacob returns to his father’s lands, now his. Joseph, Jacob’s favorite son, is a tattletale, constantly informing on his brothers’ activities. And, he has dreams of dominance over his family, which he’s happy to share. Like father, like son. Tired of him, his brothers decide to kill Joseph. Well, throw him in a pit, without food/water. But as he might get out, they sell him to passing slavers, and fake evidence of his death by animal. And, over years of his suffering, not one of them reveals this secret to Jacob.
  38. Judah, one of the older brothers, takes a local wife, outside the clan, and has three sons – Er, Onan, and Shelah. God says Er is evil and kills him. Onan has a levirate marriage obligation to marry and impregnate Er’s wife, Tamar, to continue his brother’s lineage. Onan, however, isn’t having that, and while his name is connected to masturbation, what he really does is “pull out” rather than impregnate Tamar. God kills him too. Judah asks Tamar to wait for Shelah to grow up and fulfill the obligation, but doesn’t follow through. Pissed off, Tamar disguises herself as a prostitute, seduces Judah and exacts payment in personal items that, now pregnant, she offers as proof of paternity. Judah accepts her as his wife, and she gives birth to twins who reenact the first-born contest of Jacob and Esau.
  39. Joseph is sold to the Egyptian pharaoh’s chamberlain, Potiphar. Handsome and sharp, he quickly ingratiates himself (with God’s help), and becomes Potiphar’s head servant. Potiphar’s wife takes a shine to Joseph and tries to seduce him repeatedly. He demurs. One day, she finally gets him undressed, and “sees” he’s a Jew. Naked, he flees her chambers. She accuses him of attempted rape. Potiphar sends him to jail. He quickly becomes the favorite of the jailers and they put him in charge of the other prisoners. God still helping out.
  40. Pharaoh gets angry with his head sommelier and baker and imprisons them, in same cell with Joseph. They have dreams. Joseph interprets the sommelier’s dream to mean he will be restored to his position, and asks that he tell Pharaoh about his own unjust imprisonment. Joseph interprets the baker’s dream to mean he will be executed. Both interpretations come to pass, but the sommelier forgets about Joseph.
  41. Two years pass. Pharaoh has two dreams, first of seven cannibalistic cows eating seven content cows, and then the same with ears of corn. When no one can interpret the dreams, the sommelier suddenly remembers Joseph. Oops. Pharaoh sends for Joseph from the prison. Joseph interprets the dreams as God granting Egypt seven years of abundance, then seven years of famine, and slyly suggests Pharaoh needs a young, attractive, whip-smart guy who has an in with God. Pharaoh catches his drift and appoints Joseph over all of Egypt’s agriculture. He gives him a home, clothing allowance, and a wife. For seven years, Joseph builds Egypt’s agricultural system and stocks the warehouses. He has kids. And when famine strikes, he’s ready, and opens the warehouses to distribute grain to one and all.
  42. Back in Canaan, there’s famine. Jacob sends ten of his sons to Egypt, keeping the youngest, Benjamin, at home. They arrive, not recognizing Joseph, though he recognizes them, and ask for food. He accuses them of being spies and puts them in jail for three days. He gives them the provisions they asked for and secretly puts their money back in their bags. He keeps Simeon in jail and demands that they bring Benjamin (his only full brother) to prove they’re not spies. Reuven says, “I told you killing Joseph would come back to haunt us.” They return home, tell Jacob what happened. He laments having lost one son, perhaps about to lose more. Reuven promises to bring Benjamin back or, in what has to be the most insensitive offer to make, Jacob can kill Reuven’s sons, Jacob’s grandsons. Yeah, that’ll fix things.
  43. Do they rush back with Benjamin to rescue Simeon? No they do not. They stay home until they are again in danger of running out of food. Only then Jacob permits them to return, taking gifts, extra money, and Benjamin. Judah takes on responsibility for Ben’s safety. In Egypt, Joseph orchestrates a performance. His brothers are taken to his home, fearful of being punished, but are assured all is well, and Simeon is returned to them. They are seated at the table by Joseph, in order of age, astonishing them. Amazingly they don’t recognize him. Joseph, overwhelmed and weepy upon seeing Benjamin, runs from the room, but shortly returns, composed, and breaks bread with them. Again surprising them, as Egyptians had a prohibition against eating with Jews. Much drinking ensues, and the emphasis on this is clearly a setup.
  44. Joseph’s test of his brothers continues. He has his servants fill their bags with food, along with all the money they brought, and add in his personal silver divination goblet to Benjamin’s bag. They are sent on their way, only to be followed and confronted. Protesting their innocence, they open their bags, the cup being found in Benjamin’s bag. They all return to Joseph. He declares that Benjamin must stay as his slave. A test of his brothers loyalty? Judah declares his responsibility for Benjamin, and offers to stay in his place. He asserts that their father, Jacob, would die of heartbreak should Benjamin not return, especially after the death of his brother Joseph (who still, somehow, they have not twigged to) many years ago, the two sons of his favored wife.
  45. Joseph orders everyone but his brothers out of the room. Hey bros, it’s me, Joseph, who you sold into slavery. But no worries, remember all my dreams about how important I would be to you one day? Well, it was God’s will, to save you and everyone else from famine…Go tell dad, and bring him back here. Ta da! Pharaoh hears about this, agrees, and the brothers head back to tell Jacob (no mention of if they came clean about their role in the slavery thing, I’m guessing not). Jacob perks right up and insists on going to Egypt, now.
  46. Mostly a listing of everyone Jacob took with him to go see Joseph – the whole family – all 66 of them. God appears to him and promises to keep him safe, there and back. They go. Jacob and Joseph hug and cry. Joseph offers to introduce the family to Pharaoh. But, he admonishes, Egyptians hate shepherds, so don’t mention the sheep, just say you raise livestock and talk about cows. I feel like this is a setup for something to come.
  47. Joseph tells Pharaoh that his dad and brothers, and cows are here. He brings five of his brothers to meet Pharaoh and the first thing they blurt out is that they’re really shepherds. Jacob meets Pharaoh, who asks him about his life. Jacob opines that his 130yr life has been a series of bad events, but all the same, too short. Pharaoh gives Jacob and sons entire land of Goshen. Famine gets worse. Joseph trades remaining grain stores for everyone’s money, then herds, and then land titles, turning Egypt into a serfdom under his control.
  48. Jacob is dying and calls Joseph to him with his two sons, offering to bless their birthright. As he’s doing so, Joseph sees his father is blessing the younger grandchild before the older and tries to stop him. Jacob, echoing his own past, says he knows, and continues.
  49. An ode from Jacob to his twelve sons, the leaders of their respective tribes (the twelve tribes of Israel, i.e., Jacob). Much of it is dark and foreboding. And while he doesn’t outright say it, or curse them, he hints that he knows what the other eleven did to Joseph. He also neglects to mention that he’s reassigned his birthright blessing to Joseph’s sons. Then, with all of them gathered around him to hear his pronouncements, he dies. Way to make an exit!
  50. Jacob’s body is embalmed and lies in state for 70 days. Then Joseph asks Pharaoh to let him take his father’s body back to Canaan. Pharaoh not only agrees, but sends an official escort with him. They bury him in the cave that Abraham bought so many years before. They return to Egypt. Joseph’s brothers, fearful that he will now take revenge, make up a story about Jacob asking him to forgive them. He sees through it, but says since it all worked out, he’s cool, and if there’s punishment to be given, it’s up to God. They live in harmony for the rest of their lives. Joseph dies at age 110. He requests to be buried in the same cave as their ancestors. But, Genesis ends with him embalmed in a coffin in Egypt, apparently abandoned once again at the end by his remaining brothers.

Next Book, Exodus

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One Leaf, Every Day

By request from a friend who is the editor for the The World Congress of GLBT Jews, I wrote up this little piece for their High Holidays 5781/2020 newsletter, which came out today.

Taking on reading a long, intricate novel can be a daunting task, especially if you’re expected to not just read it, but study and discuss it. When it popped into my awareness that a new cycle of the Daf Yomi was starting at the beginning of 2020, an idea began to form. Like many Americans of my generation, I was brought up in a Jewish household that started off somewhat leaning Conservative, but moved more and more towards Reform as the years went on. I knew the Talmud existed, occasionally our rabbi would drop a pearl of wisdom into a sermon or conversation. But I never studied it.

It was enough to have learned the basics of the Torah, and a bit from other books of the bible. The Talmud was relegated to the world of yeshiva boys and Yentl. It was in ancient Hebrew and Aramaic. An English version didn’t exist until 2012, just in time for the last Daf Yomi cycle, even that was just a “beta version”, and its 22 volumes rang in with a price tag in the thousands of dollars. But this time around, taking on studying “a page a day”, or to be pedantic, “a leaf a day”, since it’s two pages back to back, of the 2,711 leaves, had the advantage of the online treasure trove of Jewish texts, Sefaria, making the entire thing available for free. There’s even an app.

I’m not particularly religious. I have my moments. Upfront, I wanted to approach what I “knew” to be the rabbinic laws around the Torah from the perspective of a cultural observer. Assuming it to be dry reading, I figured a week or two into the project I’d probably abandon it, with a shrug, hey, gave it a try. Within a day or so, I was hooked. Imagine, if you will, a group of rabbis, sages, priests, and wise men, sitting around, day after day, for years, starting off with a discussion of a legal point, and going off on the tangents that any group of intimate friends might. And someone is writing it all down. All of it. Every digression, every one-off comment.

What starts with a point of law leads into tangents on topics as varied as food and cooking, construction, sorcery and demons, and sex. A lot of sex. They have provided fodder for a running daily twitter-ish commentary that I’ve been publishing that runs the gamut from recipes for fig cakes; whether Jesus’ (yes, that one) cooking skills are not up to par; bathhouse etiquette; appropriate gifts to the mothers of young boys you’ve molested; to how to cruise the marketplace and not look “too gay”. It’s been going on nine months now, twenty minutes or so over my morning coffee, and I’ve found myself fascinated with a look back at the culture of our ancestors from centuries, if not millennia, past. Only around seven more years to go.

Dan is an author, sommelier, chef, and restaurateur living in Buenos Aires, Argentina.  Hopefully his highly rated “closed-door” restaurant Casa Saltshaker will open again soon, post pandemic.

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Banned in 2022 #1

Of late, there’s been much brouhaha over the “banning” of books. In some cases these have not been actual banning, but have been portrayed as such, for example, as I write this, one of the most talked about ones is Maus, a graphic novel about the Holocaust. At least as of now, it hasn’t been banned, by anyone, it was removed as a text from a single high school course held at two high schools in McGinn Country, Tennessee, affecting around 50-60 students a year. It remains on the library shelves of the schools involved, it wasn’t burned (well, it might have been included in some staged book burnings by some hysterical townsfolk, but they had to go out and buy their own copies). It is to be replaced with a different text… which one is the source of much speculation and agitation on the part of outsiders who haven’t a clue. Now, that may well change, but that whole situation has more or less dropped out of the news cycle, so we may never know.

The latest that came to my attention was the school board in Wentzville, Missouri, a suburb of St. Louis, with a population of about 39,000, although the school district covers a population of 85,000, of whom, about 17,400 are students, at 22 different schools. So this has a bit more impact than the case above. Depending on which news report you read, either four or six or eight books were not just removed from all curricula, but also from all public school library shelves in January 2022. They’re still available at bookstores in town, and the school board has no say in that, and it’s apparently caused a jump in sales of those books, albeit only about 120 copies between them – a grand total of roughly 15 copies of each book. Whether those were sold to kids or to parents who wanted to know what the fuss was about, it’s not clear.

But, it got me interested, as I’d not read any of them, though two of them were already on my reading stack. So, just what is the fuss all about? I decided to start my dive into these books with the graphic novels from the two situations.

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

The Wentzville school board said the removal was for scenes of nudity, profanity, and, treating the death of a parent as a joke. The article, ardently progressive, asserts that it was because the author is a lesbian, and the book normalized the LGBTQIA+ community. So I read it. And the thing is, the book has nudity, and even a graphic sex scene between two women, it has a huge quantity of profanity, and, her father’s death is treated by her as a big joke. Nothing about the way either her or her father’s sexuality is handled in the book could remotely be considered normalizing.

She portrays her father as the worst sort of gay stereotype: alternating between mincing sissy (her words) and overbearing autocrat (yet somehow loving of his children, though she’s loathe to admit that), who, after she learns that he has possibly had sex (no proof is given, just a claim by her estranged mother, who was suing for divorce and who it seems had affairs of her own), with men, including a couple of younger men (17-19 years old), assumes that that means he was a pederast, lusting after prepubescent boys on the playground and altar boys in church; with “unwholesome morality” (her words, again); and riddled with guilt from his unnatural (her word) urges, to the point where horror of horrors, he seeks out professional help from a therapist (though he never tells her why he was seeing a therapist, this is an assumption on her part). And she assumes that all this guilt and activity on her father’s part led him to commit suicide, despite there being no evidence that he committed suicide – all evidence points to an accidental death in a car versus pedestrian accident. And she turns his death, funeral, and visits to the cemetery, into a litany of humor.

To top it off, she blithely, towards the end, talks about the obliviousness of her father when he’s teaching an English class that includes a book with a closeted protagonist, and accuses him of the worst sort of cognitive dissonance because her 40-something year old married father didn’t choose that moment in front of a class of college students to out himself, and is therefore guilty of perpetuating stereotypes. She ought to take a look in the mirror.

As to style… the book lacks any real dialogue, instead being a first person narration. Still, an odd choice for a graphic novel purportedly about the relationship between a few family members. But maybe that fits, since most of what she relates seems to be her imaginings about things that may well have never happened. The writing style is emotionless – perhaps that’s intentional to make it all seem very bleak, but at the same time, it makes it a bore to read. As to the profanity, they’re right. The captions are packed with it – however, it’s of the innocuous sort that comes from a person who can’t seem to complete a cogent thought without throwing in one of those words. We all know someone like that – they’re not really cursing, they’re just talking, and they use words that some people find objectionable the way other people use “umm”.

Hell, I’d probably vote to take this book off of public school library shelves too, partially, perhaps, for the reasons the school board gave, all of which were accurate, but more because it’s a horrifically stereotyped portrayal of an unhappily closeted gay father of the boomer generation, and a seemingly reluctant out of the closet lesbian daughter with a whole lot of emotional and empathy issues.


Maus I & II, by Art Spiegelman

I have mixed feelings about the “ban” on this book, which might be hinted at by my opening paragraph, though a deeper look into the situation bothers me more than it did originally. Again, the book is not actually banned, it was just removed “as a text” from a class being taught about the Holocaust, with the intention to replace it with a different book. To me, that doesn’t seem like a big deal, unless the book chosen to replace it is one that whitewashes over what happened. But, reading through the transcript of the school board meeting makes it more troubling. The ten members of the school board, one by one, when questioned, admit they’ve never read the book. They’re relying on some reviews and blog posts about it for their assessment.

Next, and just as concerning, it turns out that the particular unit of study on the Holocaust that the two high schools offer was actually designed around Maus. Literally the entire course curriculum is based on the book, with supporting materials that include other readings, videos, and interviews with Holocaust survivors, all good things, included. In order to replace it, they have to completely redesign the curriculum for the study unit, not just select another book, because the supporting materials and lectures all have to mesh with whatever new text they select. That makes this clearly a much more long-term project, and at the least means likely not offering this course of study for at least one or two school years. It’s also worth noting that most of the ten school board members were on the school board when they approved the design of this same course, around the same book.

So what was the school board’s reasoning? Three things, all related to “we think this book is too adult for the age of the students being taught the material”, particularly “rough language”, i.e., profanity, nudity, and graphic scenes of death. The critics of their move point out that none of those things, particularly the level of them that appear in the book(s) rises to the level of what these same kids see on the internet every day. And while the board admits that’s true, they also assert that that doesn’t mean they have to intentionally put those things in front of kids as part of a class. The critics also point out, rightly, that any study of the Holocaust is going to be disturbing for students, but that that discomfort is part of what students need to experience in order to understand what happened. Making it graphic makes it more real than simply reading a text.

The dismissal of the board’s concerns by saying that the graphic panels use animals – mice, pigs, dogs, cats… rather than human figures… is a spurious one. They’re clearly intended to evoke particular caricatures of Jews, Poles, and Geman Nazis – which may actually make them more intense than if the author had used humans.

So on to my own thoughts on reading this. The book was published in two parts originally. These days there’s a “complete” version, but what I had access to were the original two, so I’m going to separate them. The first book is basically an interview that the author conducted with his father about the years leading up to, and the early years of World War 2. It’s a look at the lives of he and his family, how they coped with ever increasing restrictions on their activities and lives over a several year period.

As best I could find, the only profanity in the first book was a single use of “god dammit” by the author swearing at his father for having destroyed his wife’s diaries. The author’s upset comes from his lack of source material (which he hadn’t known existed until that moment to begin with), and shows a remarkable lack of empathy for what his father went through. It was all about himself and his project. There is no nudity in the first book that I saw, and not anything that I’d really consider graphic violence – there are several references to the gas chambers at Auschwitz, but they’re not shown. And even the street violence is more pointed to than shown.

Book two is a continuation of his father’s story, through his internment at Auschwitz and later Dachau. Much of the book is also set in modern day, with the author talking about the success of his first book, and, spending most of the time arguing with and chastising his father. Like the book above by Bechdel, the relationship of the author to his father is a strained one, and he spends almost more time berating him than he does listening to him. His father is portrayed as a stereotypical whiny, poor-English speaking Jew who does little more than scrimp and hoard money, try to cheat people, and is racist to boot. The author comes across as more interested in his personal success and comfort than anything about his family. The book’s subtitle of “And here my trouble began” seem more related to how put-out he feels about even having to help his aging father, and how it impacts his daily routine.

In terms of the school board’s concerns, as best I could find, there’s no profanity in this volume, the only nudity is a two panel scene at the start of his father’s internment in Auschwitz with a half dozen naked men (mice) in a shower, and then getting dressed. In terms of graphic violence, it’s certainly talked about, but for the most part, not pictured. Even a scene that was specifically referenced, of a man who’d been shot lying in a pool of his own blood, most of the panel and the man’s body is blocked out by the caption box. A graphic scene of his mother’s suicide was also mentioned, however, as best I could find, doesn’t appear in either volume, though her suicide is mentioned a couple of times, with no details given.

While personally I’m not big on graphic novels, I found these to be well written, well illustrated, and engaging. I can see why they were chosen as a way of capturing the attention of the age group they’re intended for. So, overall, on this one, I think the school board’s decision was pretty stupid. They admitted they’d never read the books. Their objections to specific material aren’t supported by what is actually in the books. And the fact that the entire curriculum needs to be rewritten and redesigned because of this removal seems a waste of a lot of time that had gone into the (successful) implementation of this program.

On the flipside, I haven’t seen any evidence that supports the critics’ point of view, much of which, I’d note, is driven by the author himself and his publisher. Unless there’s some secret agenda to simply never re-do this study unit, there’s nothing to indicate any anti-semitism, nor plans to eliminate the Holocaust from the school’s curriculum. While I think a better approach if they didn’t like this book would have been to first read it, and then if they still felt the same way, to propose the redesign, but keep the current design in play until the new one was ready, would have made more sense, and avoided a lot of media hysteria and blowback.

[Edit: While it has not been kept on as the core textbook of the course on the Holocaust, and I haven’t found any reference to what it was replace with, it was decided not to ban the Maus books from the school libraries, and they remain available to students to read. Which kind of makes the claims of the school board a bit suspect – perhaps they were just trying to appease a few upset parents about a classroom text?]

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The Glow

“Given our shared passion for cooking, how is it that we were suddenly convinced to retire our pots and pans for good? It’s not just the extra cupboard space that our oven now provides.”

– from the book reviewed here…

Raw Food real worldBuenos Aires – Okay, pet peeve in regard to book titles. Yes, book titles. If you have a catchy title, if you, or your editor or publisher, gave it some thought, why do you need a subtitle explaining what your book is all about? Is it really that difficult, with a book called Raw Food Real World for anyone to grasp the subject matter at hand? Does it need 100 Recipes to Get the Glow? Which, by the way, comes across to me at least as less explicative than the title – sure, I get the 100 recipes part, but “get the glow”?

That out of the way, let’s look at the book. It’s a subject matter that’s all the rage these days – raw food or life food. It’s written by a chef who, at least within the New York foodie world, is pretty well known, and his wife, who isn’t. It’s beautifully illustrated with photos of the food, and less so with lots of pictures of the two of them, presumeably glowing. Not that they’re not a cute couple, in fact, Matthew Kenney is… well, was… one of the cutest chefs around – but that’s 15 years ago or so when he was running Matthew’s on the Upper West Side (which was not a raw food vegan restaurant and was a spot I regularly dined at and had a good number of late eve conversations with Matthew about the industry after introducing myself) – we all lose a bit of cuteness with age, you know? Graphically, it’s not well designed – the recipes for the most part are fine, but the chapter introductions are all done in spindly white text set on vividly colorful pages, with a particular fondness it seemed for yellow and orange, making them difficult to read.

Their explanations of how and why they got into a raw food lifestyle are relatively straightforward, if, perhaps, punctuated by a few too many gee golly gosh how good I felt after I did this moments that get a bit repetitive. The level of detail is probably just about perfect for someone who’s more interested in this as a recipe book than as an explication of the lifestyle itself. The recipes are well written and clear, and sound delicious. On the other hand, most of them sound like things that are fairly complex to make – the “real world” part of the title is a bit misleading. I did a little surfing online to see what sort of reaction the book has garnered among the raw food folk, and one of the most common comments is something to the effect of “everything looks so good, but way beyond my skill level to make”. Which was my reaction and I cook for a living.

The recipes, and the whole story they present, in general, are clearly aimed at those with a lot of time on their hands to make stuff, and more, with a lot of cash to burn. Exotic ingredients, professional level equipment – and no suggestions for substitutions on either – in fact a bit disparaging of any attempts to make this food without using the best (and most expensive) kitchen tools and ingredients out there (with supplier sources listed for where to order all this exotica from should you live somewhere, say, other than New York City or San Francisco).

On the positive side, I like that they don’t preach. In fact they’re quite clear that they aren’t fanatically committed to a 100% raw food vegan lifestyle, and actually enjoy eating both cooked food and non-vegetable food, when they eat out, but have chosen this for home – and even that has it’s minor exceptions. In their lead-ins they do make it sound like anyone could jump on the bandwagon should they want to, it’s just a shame that the recipes make it seem far harder than it has to be to do so. And that leaves this book, for me, as one to sit and glow on the coffee table, should you be so inclined, and less likely to be on the kitchen bookshelf where it might be used.

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