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Board Nominees Present Platforms, Answer Questions at Annual Meeting

GGBC
Greater Gotham Business Council
March 1991
Pages 1-2

Democracy swings into action every March. It’s time for the annual meeting, including the board elections. It’s your chance to be part of GGBC’s decision-making process. It’s time to ask yourself: Who do you want representing you? Would you vote for that person? Will you be that person? When am I going to get involved in this organization?

JOin GGBC in the Network Room at the Community Center on Thursday, March 21, for campaign oratory, socializing, flesh pressing, and – should the opportunity arise – a little baby kissing. This spring, three seats on the Board of Directors will be filled. Positions are open by the completion of Tom Ring’s three-year term and vacancies left by the early resignations of Judith Lafemina and Jo Taibi.

Our “Meet The Candidates” event will give you the chance to spill your guts, question the candidates, and have a say in the future of GGBC. As a part of the annual meeting, President William C. Galliker will also review the year’s activities. Among the accomplishments and plans to be discussed:

– The GGBC marketing program, which is in its earliest stages of implementation.

– The Greater Gotham Business Report, a twice-monthly business news segment on Gay Cable Network.

– The GGBC Professional Mentoring Program.

“It was a year of quiet but very important change that started with the town meeting last April,” Bill recently commented. “The Board has worked very hard to establish a new direction, based on the ideas that were raised by the members. We are looking forward to discussing the new programs and organizing committees to help the programs flourish.”

Policies, Procedures Profits

GGBC will join other lesbian and gay professional organizations as the Community Center and the City of New York Comptroller’s Office sponsor a workshop about doing business with the City.

Tom Duane, the Comptroller’s Manhattan Community Liaison, will host a special program about economic development opportunities, small business loans, contracting procedures and instruction for navigating the Procurement Policy Board’s red tape.

This is the follow-up we promised you in November when GGBC introduced may of the “out” members of the Dinkins administration. Don’t miss this opportunity to learn about how the City can empower your business.

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The E Files #4

Jeez, it’s been almost two years since I’ve posed anything on this blog. Then again, it was originally designed just as a place to archive my published work, and I haven’t been writing for any magazines or newspapers over the last couple of years, so no surprise there. But, just to toss a little fun into the world…there’s always more email stupidity to share….

______________

“We are on our honeymoon. My new wife is a bit of an artist and has an eye for design. She will not eat from plates that do not fit her personal tastes, nor food that is on the plate in a design that she doesn’t find suitable. Before we book, would you please send photos of the plates and the dishes you’ll be serving and she’ll provide the feedback necessary to have them meet her standards. Looking forward to enjoying our experience with you.”

“I’m sorry, we have no space available for you the dates you’re asking about.” [And jeez man, good luck in that marriage, you’re gonna need it.]

______________

“I didn’t really care for last night’s meal. Starting from the fact that I hate Peruvian food and don’t really like Italian, and I was hoping your place, since those are your specialty, would change my mind, but you didn’t. As such, your restaurant and you as a chef are a failure in my mind. Perhaps you should contact another chef to come in and show you how to cook those cuisines in a way that would make it so someone like me would find them palatable. I mean, it’s just an amateur’s opinion, but you asked for feedback.”

I don’t even have a response to this one. I just filed it away in the appropriate place.

______________

We have a standard procedure for after someone requests a reservation and we accept it – we send them a detailed reservation confirmation and also a separate link for paying their deposit. If we haven’t heard back from them after 3-4 days, we send an email just confirming that they got both, as sometimes things get caught up in spam filters, or simply lost in the shuffle of day to day email inundations. If we still haven’t heard from them after 7-8 days, we send them a polite cancellation notice. Amazingly, I would say 8 out of 10 times, we get a response to the cancellation within an hour or two, apologizing and re-asking for the reservation, that things got lost in the shuffle of life, which we almost always do. 1 out of 10, we never hear from again. The last 1 out of 10 go something like this one….

“I don’t know how you run a business being so pushy and rude as to simply cancel someone’s reservation that they asked for. I’m a busy person, and it was on my list to get back to you, but I just hadn’t gotten to it. I expect you to immediately restore my reservation or if not, provide compensation.”

“First off, while I understand that people like you are busy, so are we, and we waited a full week before cancelling, it’s not like we only waited a day or two. All we would have needed would have been a quick email saying that you’d get to it shortly and you were still planning on keeping the reservation. But we’d be happy to put your reservation back on the books, though at this point, as the date you wanted is coming up this weekend, we’d have to have your deposit today or tomorrow.”

“See, that’s what I mean by pushy and rude. I’ll get to it when I get to it. You can wait. Your timetable means nothing to me.”

“Well, with apologies then, I’m not going to put the reservation back on the books, I have my business to run. Let me turn this around for you [I knew from his reservation request that he was an attorney.]… As a lawyer, if someone called you up and said they had a court date in two weeks, and wanted to hire you to represent them, I’m going to assume that you’d ask them for a retainer of some sort. And if after three or four days you hadn’t heard from them again, you might try to reach them to see if they still wanted you to represent them. And if you still hadn’t heard from them after more than a week, with the court date just a few days away, you’d probably take them off your planned calendar. And if they then called you again a couple of days later and demanded that you still represent them, and “maybe” they’d pay you or maybe not, you probably wouldn’t take their case. Would that be about right?”

“My time is valuable and can’t be wasted on people like that. I have a real job. You’re just a cook with a home business, it’s not the same thing. Your little hobby has no value to society.”

“My time is just as valuable to me as yours is to you, my “hobby” is how I earn a living, and, historically, a whole lot of people have said much the same thing about lawyers and their value to society. Have a nice time in Buenos Aires.” [Isn’t that a nice way of saying “Fuck you!”?]

______________

The setup: On our online reservation form, we have a statement above it that says “other than for private events, we don’t offer vegan, gluten-free, or dairy-free options at our communal table dinners, nor onion/garlic/chili free – we use a fair amount of all three of those”, and in the form itself, “Any food allergies or dietary restrictions?” Guest makes a reservation for 3 people, roughly a month ahead of time, indicates “N/A” in answer to the question on the form. The day of the reservation, I receive an email…

“Just confirming that we’ll be there tonight, with bell’s on, and that you have a vegan option available for us?”

“I appreciate you confirming, on that we’re all set, however, we don’t offer a vegan option, and you had indicated that you had no dietary restrictions that we needed to consider. I’m afraid we don’t have a vegan menu – everyone eats the same thing, and the menu is already in progress.”

“We don’t consider being vegan to be a restriction, and by law you’re required to provide us with vegan menu items. We expect you to do so.”

“First off, no, we’re not required by law to do anything of the sort, certainly not here in Buenos Aires, and I somehow doubt that it’s true wherever you live either. Second, we did ask, and your response to our question was “N/A”. While I appreciate the philosophical point of view about whether being vegan is restrictive or not, it’s an obvious question on a reservation form for our menu planning purposes. Sorry, but we have no vegan option, something that we also stated upfront.”

“Restriction is obviously a trigger word, and you know that, being queer and all. I would think you’d be more sensitive about things like this and not be so anti-vegan. Since you’re refusing to let us come to dinner, send us back our money right away, and I think you owe us reparations for oppressing our lifestyle.”

“One, not refusing to serve you dinner, just not serving you a vegan dinner, you’re welcome to come, there just won’t really be anything for you to eat. Two, not anti-vegan, just don’t offer it as a menu option at our communal dinners. Three, being gay has nothing to do with being vegan (and, since we’re on the topic, I find “queer” to be an offensive trigger word). Four, if you don’t come, your deposit is non-refundable, as you agreed to upfront. Let me know if you plan to come.”

“We’re obviously not coming and we’ll be contacting our credit card company to get the money back. You obviously aren’t woke if you find words like queer and fag offensive you should own them with pride. You haven’t heard the last from us.”

Other than an attempt to get the deposit reversed, which the credit card company sided with us, we haven’t heard from them again. Funny how this whole trigger and woke thing only applies to the labels applied to yourself, not the ones you apply to other people.

 

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The View From Missive Control

Space Frontier News
Space Frontier Society
A Chapter of the National Space Society
August 1994
Vol. 5, No. 6
Page 2

The View From Missive Control
by Dan Perlman, Editor

The month of July passed, with much space related fanfare. Yet, in some ways, it passed uneventfully. True, Shoemaker-Levy 9 did its dive into our Jovian neighbor. But Jupiter didn’t blow up, go reeling of course, or suddenly have its atmosphere peeled off to head out into the Oort cloud. And there were folk out there predicting such excitement. I even picked up a little sidebar in a local religious paper which quotes one Rabbi Shmuel Butman, a local Lubavitch Hasidic rabbi, who says the whole comet thing was predicted in the 13th century in one of the ancient Jewish mystical texts, the Zohar. The fulfillment of this prophecy, he apparently claims, means that redemption is near. Perhaps.

The Apollo program was duly commemorated, with interviews of former astronauts, pieces in local papers giving so-called expert opinions about those same astronauts, quotes from various scientists and political figures about what they think about where the space program has gone, and some wretchedly inaccurate TV productions (Moon Shot, For All Mankind, for example). Most seemed to feel that while much is happening, the public not only doesn’t know, but doesn’t care. They may be right, and that’s where SFS comes in. It is, I think, time that we (once again?) go for a major membership boost. One on one recruitment is fine to a point, but at times it seems we are losing as many old members as we are gaining new. If you’ve been following Carolyn Josephs’ update on the Education Committee, you know that big doings are afoot to engage teachers and through them, students, in our future in space.

None of this is to suggest that things are gloomy. If you check out the current space news, you’ll see we have good news on the Delta Clipper, the Space Station, and a couple other goodies. David Anderman contacted me last minute to let me know that the “Back to the Moon”ill has been accepted by the House Committee on Space & Science…

“Back to the Moon Bill”

The Lunar Resources Data Purchase Act is a bill to encourage the development of a commercial space industry in the United States, and to regain the leadership of the United States in the field of lunar science. The bill has been incorporated in the House of Representatives version of the NASA Authorization for Fiscal Year 1995. If the U.S. Senate passes a NASA Authorization for Fiscal Year 1995, then a congresional committee to reconcile the two versions of the NASA Authorization is expected to keep the Back to the Moon bill in the final law. Space activists are requested to send a letter to their Senators asking them to pass a NASA Authorization for Fiscal Year 195 that includes the Lunar Resources Data Purchase Act.

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Restaurants

Time Out
Buenos Aires for Visitors
August 2006

My contribution to the Restaurants section of this issue was the writeup of half a dozen restaurants. Most of the section is, as the editor puts it, accumulated, and stays the same from issue to issue, so there were about twenty new reviews in this edition. There is soon to be an online site updated far more regularly…

La Boca – Argentinian (traditional)

Don Carlos

Brandsen 854, esq. del Valle Iberlucea, La Boca (4362-2433). 10, 29, 86 bus. Open noon-3pm, 8pm-midnight, Mon-Sat. Main Courses AR$4-8. No credit cards.

Five “P”s – “picadas, pizza, pasta, pescado, parrilla?” is the question with which Don Carlos himself greets every table. Your only option is to choose any or all of the categories – “todo” or “all” is not only the best bet for a rolicking dining experience, but it will bring a big smile to Carlito’s eyes. From that moment on you are in the hands of him and his cook, as high quality homestyle Italian and Argentine food flies out of the kitchen and lands on your table faster than you can finish it off. The parade of small dishes – from pristinely fresh homemade mozzarella to faina to whatever cut of meat comes smoking off the grill – continues until you beg for it to stop, at which point a sixth P – postres will be offered, along with coffee. Sigh and say yes. Your bill gets figured out, more or less based on mutual memory, at some point later on.

Almagro, Once & Villa Crespo – Russian

Ermak

Bülnes 873, entre Humahuaca y Guardia Vieja, Almagro (4866-2300) – Subte D, Medrano/19, 24, 128, 151 bus. Open 7pm-1am Tue-Sun.. Main Courses AR$5-10. No credit cards.

Try opening a small, dozen-seat restaurant on the site of the neighborhood’s favorite pizza and hamburger joint, and offering home-style Russian dishes. You quickly compromise with your neighbors and offer pizza and burgers to the takeout and delivery crowd, and reserve your tables for those who want to try your bushenina, vareniki, pelmeni, stroganof, and the quite possibly the city’s best ensalada rusa, all accompanied by shots of ice cold vodka with lemon and salt. With so few seats a reservation is a necessity, especially as most nights you can count on nearly every seat being taken up by a Russian expat looking for a taste of home. The half dozen young blond, blue-eyed, and impossibly thin staff members seem barely out of their teens, but churn out a steady stream of tasty and authentic fare worthy of the 16th Century Cossack leader they’ve named themselves after.

Belgrano & Colegiales – French

Maat

Sucre 2168 entre Cuba y Arcos, Belgrano (4896-1818) – Subte D, Juramento/44, 63, 133, 151, 152 bus. Open noon-3pm, 8pm-midnight Mon-Sat.. Main Courses AR$25-35. Credit AmEx, DC, MC, V.

If you’re not the sort who’s used to “dining at the club” with your cohorts, Maat may make you feel like Ferris Bueller putting one over on the maitre d’. You know you deserve to be pampered and served in one of their semi-private dining rooms or garden, but just exactly how did they know? Start with a cocktail at the well-stocked bar and then move on to dine on some of the most intensely flavoured, classic French cuisine currently being offered in the city. When you retire to the library to sip on an after dinner drink and peruse the collection of art and food tomes, you’ll just know you should be admitted to this club – and keep that in mind, because down the line, Maat intends to become exactly that, a members-only club. Get there while it’s open to the public, or be ready to sign on the dotted line.

Belgrano & Colegiales – Italian

Don Chicho

Plaza 1411, esq. Zarraga, Colegiales (4556-1463). Subte B, Tronador/21, 76, 87, 93, 127, 140 bus. Open 8pm-midnight Mon; noon-3pm, 8pm-midnight Tue-Sat; noon-3pm Sun.. Main Courses AR$8-12. No credit cards.

Let your eyes drift past the fading facade and the paint peeling off the walls and rest on the two flour covered work tables just inside the main entrance. Two pasta cooks shuttle back and forth from kitchen to those tables, rolling out, cutting, and hand forming every order of pasta al momento. An array of homemade antipasto lines the dilapidated bar. There’s no menu, and don’t ask the your waitress to recite all 29 items the kitchen offers – take the recommendations off the daily signboard out front, or whatever she recommends as the best of the day. Dig into some of the freshest and best made traditional Italian antipasti and pasta casera in the city, or if you must, sample basic local fare like milanesas. The tables are packed with locals, so expect some heads turning when you walk in the door, and don’t be surprised if more than one dining neighbor questions your origins.

Belgrano & Colegiales – South-east Asian

BuddhaBA

Arribeños 2288, esq. Blanco Encalda, Belgrano (4706-2302). Subte D, Juramento/15, 29, 60, 64, 118. Open noon-3:30pm, 8pm-midnight Tue-Sun. Main Courses AR$10-15. No credit cards.

Not so much fusion as pan-Asian cuisine, with creative and beautifully presented dishes from all over southern and eastern Asia. Look for inspired twists on classics like Vietnamese springrolls filled with the innards of a pressed Vietnamese sandwich – paté, roast pork, and hot peppers; or a Cantonese sweet and sour chicken made with tomato and litchis. Tranquility is the order of the day, and service is quiet and unobtrusive, leaving you to soak in the ambiance, and nibble away at some of the finest Asian food in the city. The setting is beautiful – allow yourself to be tempted to take a pot of tea and some pastries after your meal in the adjacent tea garden. Then wander on upstairs to the constantly changing array of art in the well curated gallery. You may just not want to leave.

Belgrano & Colegiales – Vegan

verdellama

Dorrego 1588 entre T. Alvarez y Córdoba, Colegiales (4778-1889) – Subte B, Dorrego or D, Carranza/Bus 19, 21, 39, 151, 168. Open 8pm-midnight Thur (reservations only).. Set menu AR$30. No credit cards.

Vegetarian cooking is already considered offbeat in the beef capital of the planet, so imagine trying to open a raw food vegan venue. Underground and off the radar is clearly your best bet, and so Chef Diego Castro and his wife Lola launched their home-based, one night a week restaurant (“restaurant a puertas cerradas”), serving up a degustation menu for those who want to remind their bodies that something other than charred meat exists. Creative, innovative, and tasty, each plate is served up with not only a description, but passion and true style. Sure you may walk out of their beautifully appointed home and garden feeling cleansed and healthier already, but your tastebuds will be awake and cheering loudly as well. There’s clearly a demand for Diego’s “cooking” style, and you can count on every seat in the house to be occupied throughout the evening, with folks waiting in the wings for their moment to sit and dine.


In mid-2006, I started writing for Time Out Buenos Aires. With changes in their way of conducting business, I decided to part company with them after my last article and set of reviews in mid-2009.

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Who’s Out Where?

The Stand-Up Comedy Experience Newsletter
Summer 1993

Who’s Out Where?

Prior to his great showing at the Industry Night, Sam Brown had been emceeing shows at Stand-Up New York and raking in the laughs in New Jersey at The Comedy Vault, Comedy Cafe, Comedy Shop, Catch a Rising Star and Red Robin. He also booked a group of fellow comedians to perform in showcases at Del’s.

Among his star performers was Dan Kornfeld, who recently won an amateur comedy contest at Shooting Star’s in Yonkers and the title of “New York’s Funniest College Comedian” at Banana’s in Poughkeepsie.

Also working with Sam was Judith Currin, who has been performing at Off-Center and starred in a feature Telecom Japan produced on The Stand-Up Comedy Experience.

Alladin Ullah is appearing as a regular at Catch a Rising Star in New York and touring on the college circuit.

Frank Girese, another of our rising stars, is now a regular hit at Tatou’s.

Appearing as house comic at The Uptown Comedy Club is our own Daryl Bowser. Daryl has been playing the corporate circuit at fundraisers, parties and The Corporate Comedy Laugh-Off and hots an open-mike show at Vinnie O’s in New Jersey.

Also with his own open-mike show is Brad Trachtman, who hosts auditions on Sundays and a showcase on Mondays at a new comedy venue, Tommy’s Red Caddy.

In the booking department, Rick Dorfman is working for Barry Katz as a booking agent for New York Entertainment and manager of Boston Comedy Club. One of the comics they represent is workshop veteran Casey Fraser.

L.A. member Victoria Edwards had a guest shot on The Tom Arnold Show. She has recently been showcased at The Improv in Santa Monica and Igby’s in L.A.

With a new baby Max at hand, Liz Margoshes is in the midst of writing a one-woman music and comedy show, “Where The Boys Are.” Liz also won a slot in one of the first “Stars of Tomorrow” showcases at The Duplex and has appeared at Stand-Up New York.

Producer Collette Black put on a show in January at 55 Grove Street featuring several of our comics – Park Borchert, Jim Gaffigan and Annie Sopher. Jim quipped, “I’m on the road and enjoyin’ it.”

Kristine Zbornik, who has for years delighted patrons of Don’t Tell Mama and 55 Grove Street with her musical comedy, recently completed a run with fellow comic George Sanders in “Dakota George”. Kristine was booked as one of the first comics to work The Russian Tea Room’s new comedy nights, and recently won a MAC Award for her cabaret performances.

Joe Monagas has worked the outer boroughs, to raves at Bay Ridge’s Crazy Country Club and Staten Island’s Pip’s.

And further out, Steve Tennenbaum plays to crowds around New Jersey, Casy O’Toole’s being his favored spot to hang. He’s also been seen at pre-shows at several New York City comedy clubs.

Wendy Stuart appeared on The Jerry Springer Show on NBC, several commercials and earned her stripes in the smokey rooms at The Comic Strip, Coldwater’s and The West Bank Cafe.

Mary Dimino is a regular at the New York Comedy Shop, Rascals, Giggles & Bits and The Uptown Comedy Club (Lancaster). She had her own show at 55 Grove last summer, and recently won the “Stars of Tomorrow” competition at The Duplex. Mary has appeared on America’s Funniest People and is the head writer for the Bob Gonzo Show, on local cable.

Rob Pitaccio, our former office manager, won the recent Red Robin Comedy Club’s “Laugh-Off Contest”. New office manager Danielle Broussard emceed a show at The Comic Strip that starred such noted performers as Phil Nee, Alladin, and Shades of Comedy. She’s also been a hit at Ye Olde Triple Inn and Flamingo’s, and is booked for a run at The New York Comedy Club in September.

Working the northern lights, David Cleary performs regularly at Treehouse in Westport, Connecticut.

Fred Fortunato keeps finding himself on stage at Joker’s in New Haven, The New York Comedy Club in Holyoke, Massachusetts and The Brass Rail in Providence.

Down south and west, Peter Fox has appeared at Havana in New Hope, PA and Jester’s at Trump Castle in Atlantic City. He recently auditioned for a slot on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Peter is forming a film production company in Atlantic City to produce art films.

Also on stage at Havana is John McMenamin. John performed and emceed at The Corner Inn in Trenton, NJ, played a recent trade show for the Society of Association Executives and appeared before a convention for Marriott Corporation in Florida.

In one of the more unusual acts we’ve heard of, Ken Savoy recently performed for a Boy Scout jamboree… by telephone.

Mike Capalbo is sticking around the Hackensack, New Jersey area, working on developing a comedy writing career. There was a “Just Married”sign on the back of his car late last year. Founding member Eli Krupnik, who is developing a comedy training kit, also recently tied the knot. On the same front, the workshop has produced its first reported coupling, with Rachel Robbins and Doug Willen announcing their engagement.

On other fronts, Jaz Dorcey coaches singers and has tucked some comedy patter into the routines of many of his students. Jaz wrote a play which is currently being produced for television, “Eat Crow.”

Tony Alicata is directing at the Nat Horne Theatre. His most recent shows are “Poet’s Corner” and “Stalling.”

Dan Burke can be seen doing improv with the group Soho Loco. Craig Bitet, in a parallel life, is showing his improv talents with Comedia Improviso.

Argentinian TV comic Enrique Dura, who joined us to brush up on his English stand-up presentation, has turned his attention towards a professional cartooning career.

Last summer, Manhattan Cable TV ran the variety show “Mondo Television” which starred Michael Gold. Michael, who works as a TV production assistant, at last report, was writing a script for the hit sitcom Seinfeld.

Marybeth Mooney has been working her way ’round New York’s open mike circuit, and with friends and co-members Judy Sheehan, Bambi DeVille and Annie Sopher, formed a stand-up and sketch comedy quartet. We’re Naked Under These Clothes, which had a successful run for many months. She also recently filmed a sitcom pilot, Violet Fields and was cast on an HBO promotional spot.

Judy was a regular at Coldwater’s and The Duplex but is concentrating on writing. She has two plays in production, a one-act, “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” being done for summer stock in Ann Arbor, Michigan and a full length called “Bright Girls, Stupid Lives” in New Jersey.

Annie has been a regular on the open mike circuit and last winter won the “Stars of Tomorrow” contest at The Duplex.

The pre-show and late night circuit has always been popular with up and coming comics. Trocader’s, Stand-Up NY, The Comic Strip, The New York Comedy Club, The Improv, The Village Gate, Glady’s, Pip’s, 55 Grove Street and Don’t Tell Mama have all opened their doors to new talents from the workshop. Regulars include Angel Hernandez, Rick Diaz, Gabriel Falcon, Guy Ellis, Sam Goodyear, Glynn Borders, Karen Hamilton and Jonas Best.

Rick was recently booked for a series of twelve community fundraisers for the New York City Housing Authority and is exploring the college comedy loop.

Guy has competed at The Apollo and more recently been exploring some acting, appearing in the stage drama, “Decisions.”

Sam continues to concentrate his talents as the general manager, producer and performer at The Leather Stocking Theater Company in Cooperstown. He recently headed off to teach music in Australia and work with author Bryce Courtenay (The Power of One) on a musical adaptation of the book.

Glynn is focusing on a directing and writing career, with recent shows “The Dark Star from Harlem” at the Josephine Baker, “From Ragamuffin to Riches” at La Mama Etc and the sketch comedy group, Out of Control with hit “Midsummer’s Night Scream.” He’s also writing for comic Terry Hodges.

Karen, our operatic star, continues her work with The Amato Opera Company.

Also singing is Gayle Humphrey who recently showed up behind the mike at the jazz festival in Vail, Colorado. Gayle has also appeared in several recent industrial films.

Fun news from a favorite team, Paul Weinstein and his puppets. Paul and his sponge-filled family have been out entertaining the nursing home set. Entertainment therapy is the new rage, and Paul is leading the pack. He and the puppets even cut a pilot for a TV sitcom.

Dan Perlman continues to perform and write comedy freelance.

And our own head coach, Steve Rosenfield was recently the subject of an article that appeared in The London Times and a feature documentary on BBC. On top of that, WABC-TV, Channel 7’s Joel Segal, produced a week-long special called “Comedy New York Style” that first aired in March. The episode looked at the future of comedy and was devoted to Steve’s training programs and focused on his teaching, and followed Esta Berman and Aprele Elliot though the creation of their sets, from workshop sessions to performance night. The show also picked Casey Fraser as a comedy star of the future.


In the late 80s/early 90s I got involved with The Stand-Up Comedy Experience (now, American Comedy Institute) and had fun performing stand-up in clubs, and honing my comedy writing skills… the latter, at least, seems to have stuck with me.

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Hosea – Phoenix Rising

We have dispensed with the seven books of what one might call the Major Prophets, and arrive at “The Twelve” – a collection of prophetic books by those who are considered the Twelve Minor Prophets. Which to me is interesting, because the first of them, Hosea, an 8th century BCE prophet, is considered by Talmudic scholars as quite possibly the greatest prophet of them all. He is the only prophet of all of them who left behind his own book, written by himself, rather than scribed histories written by other people. He also had one of the longest periods as a prophet of any of them, running over sixty years of prophecy. While he is sometimes referred to as the prophet of doom, his message is one of the restoration and salvation of the Jewish people through a period of destruction. Which, at least based on my readings of the last seven books, seems to be what all of them propound in one fashion or another.

  1. Well this is quite the intro to our man Hosea. God appears to him and tells him to go find a prostitute, marry her, and have children with her. Somehow, Hosea knows just the woman for him, and one might suspect that his dream of God telling him to marry her was just a tad too convenient. He marries her, has three kids, each of which is named in a dream by God to indicate the coming destruction of the Israeli monarchy.
  2. God pivots to let us know that once false gods and faithless leaders are left behind, Israel will be restored, the Jews will once again be his chosen people, and they will become as numerous as the grains of sand on the beaches of the world. That, clearly hasn’t happened. Perhaps we still have some false gods and faithless leaders to contend with. Plus, if he’s not speaking apocryphally, 7.5 sextillion (75 plus 17 zeros) people is a bit more than this planet can handle. You’d think he’d know that.
  3. God really likes his metaphors. In a short page, he compares hiring a prostitute for an extended period of time with the stipulation that she never have sex with, nor marry, another man, with Israel spending a period of time without a king, leaders, or false god cult leaders. Somehow he envisions this as driving them into to being faithful to him. Given the metaphor, I’m not sure that that would work other than by some sort of Stockholm Syndrome-ish process.
  4. Because the folk in Israel are just not living up to the rules or the tenets of moral conduct, God’s going to punish them. We’ve seen that before. Over and over again. At times it feels like the entire Tanakh is God threatening to punish people for not following the rules. We’re back to my comparisons of God and a D&D dungeon master. Oh, but this time, he’s also going to punish all the beasts, birds, and fish. Just to teach those pesky wayward Jews a lesson. Yeah, that makes sense.
  5. God singles out the sins of the tribe of Ephraim, now often referred to as one of the lost tribes of Israel. It is, however, interesting to note that it was already, at the time of this historical writing, considered apart from Israel/Judea, and worthy of its own, separate, condemnation.
  6. I’m imagining God sipping on his chai latte… no, more likely given his disposition, a supercharged red bull (which would also fit with various biblical myths)… and musing… “oh, they’ll come crawling back to me, begging me to reconsider, and I’ll just squint at them, as if I didn’t quite recognize them.”
  7. God is musing on Ephraim, the second son of Joseph, who became leader of one of the famed twelve tribes, and how far he and his tribe have strayed from Torah and God’s grace. “Does he really think I’ll forget about all the sins he and his folk have committed?” he wonders. No, I imagine not, but I also imagine that Ephraim and his people, having strayed so far, don’t consider God to be much of a threat, if they think of him at all.
  8. God’s still on Ephraim, whom he accuses of leading the Jews astray. And while he promises to castigate Ephraim himself, he focuses much of his ire on the Jews who chose to follow Ephraim’s lead. After all, shouldn’t they have known better? Shouldn’t they have accepted and/or appointed a better leader? He threatens to return them to slavery in Egypt. Shades of modern day where the Jews of the world are being blamed for the actions of the political and military leaders of Israel.
  9. He’s still on Ephraim. I feel like there must be more to the story of why God seems to despise Ephraim quite so much. He also squashes some what-about-ism, with a snide comment on “I don’t care if the Egyptians sinned, that’s not justification for Israelis to sin.” Well there goes the whole “Egypt controls the southern and western borders of Gaza even more than the Israelis control the northern and eastern” argument. At least theistically. Politically, it’s still a valid point.
  10. I thought we’d finally moved on from Ephraim as God started ranting about Samaria and Assyria, but no. He tied it back to Ephraim and was off on another tirade. I have to admit, I’m getting really tired of the books of the prophets which seem to be a lot of directed hostility at one or another person on God’s part, often without explanation as to why that person has been singled out. I’m sure there are biblical scholars who’ve delved into these antagonistic scenarios, but some context would be nice.
  11. God laments that he’s been having such dark thoughts about Israel, and Ephraim, and recalls the days when he loved them as his own children. And, he muses, perhaps he should relent, and guide them back on to the righteous path. Rather than just killing them all, which seems so final, you know?
  12. God’s now off on the difference between the northern and southern kingdoms, Israel and Judah, noting that way back when, Judah strayed, and that led to the whole debacle of Jacob wrestling with an angel and bringing the kingdom back in line with the rules. And now while Judah stands with God, Israel is off the path, and it’s all Ephraim’s fault, and something needs to be done. I don’t know, I’m thinking maybe send the angel back for a rematch, this time with Ephraim? Seems a better approach than laying waste to the entire country.
  13. Ah, there it is. Ephraim’s big sin. He dabbled in other religions, checked them out, tried out some different services, but, the big sin was that he fell in with the Baal worshipping crowd. You know, the horned fertility god of the Canaanites. And God, capital G, while he’s dismissive of other gods, really, really, really, hates Baal. They clearly had some sort of falling out in the pantheon chambers. We’ll probably never know the details.
  14. We finish up Hosea with… Samaria (what is now the West Bank and parts of Jordan) is going to have to bear the weight of its guilt. Assyria (Syria) will keep to itself and not intervene. Ephraim, who led Israel down the wrong path, the path of idols, will realize his error and repent his ways – no need for all the planned destruction, ruin, and death. That was a whole lot of wind-up for a final shrug on God’s part.

America and Lox Around the Clock

CaB Magazine
January 1993

You Are Where You Eat
Restaurant Reviews

The New Year is a time of noise. Balls dropping, crowds cheering, Royal Canadians playing, party horns bleating, bells ringing, and resolutions breaking. Auld Lang Syne is the song of the moment, the Superbowl is filling the airwaves, and another year has passed, leaving us, as always, hungry for more.

Once the hangover passes (the punch must have been spiked with Everclear), it’s time to continue our early year noise binge. Sometimes the gang is just in the mood for loud. Someplace with an ear-pounding, mind-numbing ambience, where not only can you not hear yourself think, but you know there’s no sense in even trying.

When the desire of the moment is the din of hundreds of voices, each raised to out-decibel its neighbors, we head for America. From the massive glass and brass doors to the neon stripes washing across the ceiling, from colorful murals adorning the walls and ceiling to a bar raised like a dais almost half a block away from the entrance, America is big, bright, bold, and brassy, a reflection of the owner’s concept of the country it is named for. Everything is oversized, with plates and bowls big enough for family servings.

The food, too, is America. There are South Carolina Low Country Crab Cakes, New Orleans Oyster Po’Boys, Cajun sausage Po’Boys, and Wisconsin garlic sausage sandwiches with sauerkraut and brown mustard. Chowders from New England Clam to Southwestern Corn, California avocados, New Jersey tomatoes, and New Mexican blue corn dot the menu. There’s even a Fluffernutter Sandwich (for those poor, unfortunate souls who haven’t a clue, it’s a peanut butter and marshmallow “fluff” on white bread). The menu stretches ever on and on, and we’ve spent upwards of half an hour just to figure out which of the fourteen categories (Soups, Appetizers, Egg Dishes, Omelettes, Salads, Griddle Cakes, Side Dishes, Entrées, America’s Sliders, Hamburgers, Pastas, Sandwiches, Pizzas, and Desserts) our food will come from. We haven’t even looked at the “special” menu.

One ritual must for the table is a basket of semolina herb bread topped with avocado butter, sundried tomatoes and Vermont brie. Start with the wild mushroom and shallot strudel, the duck terrine with apricots, walnuts, and pear chutney, or maybe the grilled duck sausage with Creole mustard sauce. It you’re in the mood for some spice, the quesadilla with chorizo sausage and poblano peppers or the New Mexican black bean cakes are hits, if a touch mild for my personal tastes. The applewood smoked chicken salad is one of our favorites, the San Francisco duck salad with macadamias and ginger chutney comes in a close second. We haven’t tried, but we’ve noted the Salade Mimi, with its iceberg lettuce and Thousand Island dressing.

There are almost too many things to choose from for our entrées. Will it be a night of pizza, with lamb sausage and roasted sweet peppers, or wild mushroom and pesto, or four cheeses? Perhaps dishes from the griddle menu, like apple and black pecan flapjacks, or Indian corn cakes with bacon and maple syrup. We pass on the Blue Plate Special, and decide that if we ever want “sliders”, we’ll hit the local White Castle. Maybe the Long Island duck pot pie or the Jersey pork chops with onions, gravy, dream whips and sautéed apples. One of my favorites is from the pasta menu, duckling meatballs braised in demi-glace with Cabernet Sauvignon and buckwheat noodles. Another thumbs up for the angel hair with rock shrimp and a tomato dill cream sauce.

Coffee is served in mugs the size of soup bowls. Death by Chocolate is a definite killer, with enough chocolate and enough size for the most dedicated chocoholics among us. The Mendocino Mud Pie with vanilla bean ice cream isn’t far behind. A White Chocolate mousse cake gets the nod from the gang’s white chocolate fanatic. And there’s even a real Key Lime Pie with just enough bite to brighten the end of the meal.

America, 9 East 18th Street (between Fifth Avenue and Broadway), 505-2110. Open for lunch and dinner, 7 days a week. Reservations recommended. All major credit cards accepted. Lunch $20-30. Dinner $30-40.

“Music so loud, it’ll spin you around, till your soul has lost its way…” Sometimes the pandemonium we’re looking for is that of lyrics and tunes. Booming from speakers mounted above in the the exposed pipe and brick trendy architecture. We stumble our way to Lox Around the Clock. Chelsea’s answer to the Lower East Side’s old line lox shops and Broadway’s touristy pastrami palaces.

I grew up hearing that there were basically five kinds of Jews; Hasidic, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and Gastronomic. Lox Around the Clock is the in-vogue stop for the latter. Service is a bit ditzy, but always with a smile. Our waiter can be counted on to recommend “whatever you feel like eating.” The multi-paned windows give a great view of passing foot traffic, with its usual Chelsea amusements.

We may as well start with a selection of all of our favorites. The chopped chicken liver prepared with garlic and hard boiled eggs, maybe a little hummus plate with pita bread, and a few cheese blintzes and pierogi. My choice, the potato pancakes, can be had with the traditional applesauce and sour cream or fancied-up with smoked salmon and salmon caviar. Personally, I’m not a borscht fan, but friends at the table say this one is first rate. The chicken and matzoh-ball soup certain is.

Entrées center around the world of sandwiches. I’m not sure if we’ve tried anything else. Sometimes we want something as simple as bagels with lox and cream cheese, or smoked whitefish, or even a little more chopped liver. Other times, a reasonably good burger, available in ground beef and turkey versions. But the homemade challah bread makes the regular sandwich selection the hands-down favorites. The curried chicken salad and sliced turkey breast sandwiches get good marks. But the all around winners are the lobster club with lobster, avocado, egg, bacon, lettuce and tomato, and the lox, cream cheese, capers, red onion, and tomato sandwich.

By the time we get to dessert, most of us are too full to move. But on occasion, we’ve managed to inhale a brownie a la mode, the sour cream apple walnut pie, or a banana split. I go for the bread pudding soaked in brandy. All this, they’re open late, and the Limelight is just down the block…

Lox Around the Clock, 676 Sixth Avenue (at 21st Street), 691-3535. Open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (7 a.m. to 4 a.m. Sunday to Thursday and 24 hours on Friday and Saturday). Take-out and delivery available. American Express, Visa, Mastercard, and Transmedia credit cards accepted. Lunch or dinner $15-20.

CaB magazine was one of the first publications I ever wrote for. Published by my dear friend Andrew Martin, it covered the Cabaret, Theater, Music and Dining scene in New York City, long before slick publications like Time Out NY and Where NY became popular. We had great fun writing it, and some wonderful writers contributed to its pages. When the magazine folded in the mid-90s, Andrew disappeared from the scene, and rumors had it that he departed from this existence not long after. I was thrilled to find out in mid-October 2005, a decade later, that the rumors were just that. Andrew contacted me after finding my site via that omnipresent force, Google. He’s alive and well and a member of a comedy troupe called Meet the Mistake. Somehow quite fitting!

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The Grove Street Cafe and Two Boots

CaB Magazine
June 1993

You Are Where You Eat
Restaurant Reviews

Try to imagine the sounds of tinkling ivories, musical comedy, a jazz band, and several dozen men singing showtunes. Now try to imagine them all occurring at the same time. Now put yourself in the picture, sitting in the middle of it all, only somehow it works. Welcome to piano bar row, Grove Street between Bleecker and 7th. Welcome to The Grove Street Cafe.

The setting is definitely designed with the yuppie set in mind. Exposed brick walls, subdued lighting, glass front, sidewalk tables, and a waitstaff that is not only friendly, but is appropriately attractive and trendily dressed. The maitre d’ and manager happily took our bottle of wine (a tangy little bottle of Pomino, from Tuscany) before we were seated and put it on ice to chill. This is probably a good moment to point out that Grove Street is a BYOW – Bring Your Own Wine – kind of venue. A little more candlepower in the overhead fixtures would have helped, but we did manage to browse through our menus by passing the candle around the table.

Luckily, this urbane sophistication does not overwhelm the bill of fare. While chic salads of goat cheese and arugula with balsamic vinegar and the Grove Street Salad of baby shrimp and avocado (slightly skimpy on the avocado according to our expert in such matters) were definitely taste test winners, as too are classics like beef carpaccio with olive oil and shaved parmesan, and the basil, tomato and fresh mozzarella plate.

The main course menu is fairly extensive, and split into three realms – animal, vegetable, and pasta. Although the menu lists a fairly good selection of poultry, from chicken to game hen, and several tasty sounding beef dishes, we have yet to try any of them. We have once sampled the broiled salmon, which is cooked to a nice pinkish-orange medium, that virtually melted on the palate. Our main target has been the pasta selections. Tortellini, ravioli, linguine and fettucine proliferate, both on the regular menu selection and an array of daily specials. Some are simple, like a savory whole-wheat linguine with fresh vegetables. Others are fancier, like the delectable garlicky lobster fettucine. My personal favorite, albeit somewhat on the heavy side, is a plate of fettucine topped with wild porcini and domestic mushrooms in a rich cream sauce.

We capped our most recent evening with a round of espressos (if you like lemon twists, you will have to request them), and an array of desserts from a fresh daily tiramisu to blueberry cheesecake and chocolate cake. Sate, we prepared to leave, only to be presented with snifters of sambucca, adorned with the three apropros coffee beans mucking about in them. There does not seem to be a pattern to this gift, some tables got them, some didn’t, some were flaming, some weren’t.

The Grove Street Cafe should be a definite destination next time you’re in the West Village. Enjoy a meal and then your choice of musical entertainments to drop in on right down the block at The Five Oaks, Rose’s Turn, Arthur’s Tavern, or Marie’s Crisis.

The Grove Street Cafe, 53 Grove Street (between 7th and Bleecker), 924-8299, reservations recommended. Open 7 days a week for dinner, plus weekend brunch. Mastercard and Visa accepted. Dinner, $30-35.

As we all know, some days cheap is the operative force in our lives. Not cheap in quality of course, but, shall we say, easy on the wallet. With this in mind, we set out to visit our favorite low-expense neighborhood, the far East Village. Wandering down Avenue A, we found ourselves at that bastion of Cajun-Italian cooking, Two Boots. Named for its culinary origins (two boots – Italy and Louisiana – you’ll have to supply the visuals), this hopping eatery hangs quietly between 2nd and 3rd Streets.

The decor is classic pizzeria – lots of red and white check, and red walls, and things hanging from the walls, like strings of garlic, baseball pennants and cowboy boots. Cowboy boots? Not to mention the Caribbean and Native American looking chachkas and strings of miniature lights also shaped like boots. Boots are definitely a theme, eclectic though the collection may be. The waitstaff don’t necessarily continue this course, and have sensibly opted for comfortable shoes. I have no doubt this contributes significantly to their cheery manner. The pizza kitchen is open to the dining room, where you can watch the multi-tattooed pizza-maker do his thing, and the main kitchen is hidden away behind.

You may ask, what is Cajun-Italian cooking? The answer ought to be simple, and in this case, it is. Italian food with some Cajun ingredients and Cajun food with some Italian ingredients. That answered, we turned to the menus, which lists a variety of simple appetizers, mostly breaded and fried things, salads and such, which, other folk in the establishment seemed to dig into eagerly. We moved on to bowls of outrageously good and spicy gumbo and red onion soup.

While the main menu offers a diverse grouping of pastas with vegetables, chicken and a range of sauces, the real reason for coming here is the pizza. Take that standard New York thin, crispy crust and top with tomato sauce that has some Cajun fire to it. Topping choices include the old standbys like peperoni, ham and mushrooms, but add in an array from bayou country like hot, smoky andouille and mild tasso sausages, crawfish tails and fresh hot peppers. Another plus is the offering of individual sized pizzas, so everyone at the table gets a personally tailored pie.

We finished off the evening with good old American coffee, and slabs of gooey, luscious chocolate-pecan pie and creamy, rich cheesecake. And to top it all off, our ulterior motive was met, it didn’t hurt to pay the tab at the end of the night.

Two Boots also has two takeout pizzeria locations (Two Boots To Go), one directly across the street from the main restaurant, and another on Bleecker, just east of Broadway. The latter does not, in our collective opinion, live up to the quality of the other two, but it does save a walk to the far eastern frontier.

Two Boots, 37 Avenue A (between 2nd and 3rd Streets), 505-2276. Open 7 evenings a week, 12 p.m. to 12 a.m. American Express accepted. Dinner, $10-15.

CaB magazine was one of the first publications I ever wrote for. Published by my dear friend Andrew Martin, it covered the Cabaret, Theater, Music and Dining scene in New York City, long before slick publications like Time Out NY and Where NY became popular. We had great fun writing it, and some wonderful writers contributed to its pages. When the magazine folded in the mid-90s, Andrew disappeared from the scene, and rumors had it that he departed from this existence not long after. I was thrilled to find out in mid-October 2005, a decade later, that the rumors were just that. Andrew contacted me after finding my site via that omnipresent force, Google. He’s alive and well and a member of a comedy troupe called Meet the Mistake. Somehow quite fitting!

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