Tag Archive: GLBT

Don’t Say… ?

Dan P.Tuesday, March 8, 20222

There has been a lot of outcry over the “Don’t Say Gay” bill debated and recently passed by the Florida legislature (HB1557/SB1834). On one side, the claim is that the bill prohibits any school teacher or administrator or third party in a school from ever mentioning anything related to gender identity and/or sexuality. On the other side, the claim is that the bill simply asserts the rights of parents to have a say in what their children learn about those topics. Since the only thing I’ve seen in relation to this has been a lot of social media and news reports, all without any citation, and all with a lot of hand-wringing, I decided to read the bill myself.

Now, not being a lawyer, I can’t delve into what might be possible because of specific wording. Legal scholars and lawyers will no doubt argue the fine points in court cases to come where this new law gets tested. But the bill is basically only three pages, and nothing that comes across as deeply mystifying legalese, so I’m going to give it a stab.

Edit: I’ve been asked to give bullet-points about my conclusions, and you can read on to flesh out the details:

This law only applies to public schools

This law applies to all grades, not just the GOP touted “it’s only kindergarten through third grade kids”. That’s just one sentence out of the bill, the rest applies to all grades.

This law leaves vulnerable kids, particularly LGBTQIA+ kids, without a safety net for counseling, making it “talk to your parents” or nothing, and obligating school employees to notify parents of anything kids say about their sexuality or identity.

By leaving the definition of “age appropriate” vague, this law puts the onus of defining it on state employees whose jobs are beholden to elected officials, while taking those officials off the hook for making what might turn out to be unpopular decisions.

Edit: This all didn’t age well, as over the next 10 months, Governor DeSantis, by executive fiat, extended all these restrictions through the rest of elementary school, and then on to secondary school; upped the ante on book-banning in school libraries, while cheering on private forays into public libraries and bookstores as well. And then, another couple of months later, got the legislature to codify it into law. Also added in prohibitions on teachers and school employees “using” pronouns or asking students what theirs are, and prohibited trans students (well, trans people in general) from using public restrooms unless they correspond to their birth gender, regardless of whether they’ve undergone any medical transition procedures, subject to genital examination, DNA testing, and the potential for arrest for using the wrong bathroom.

First, this bill does not apply to all schools. It applies specifically and only to public schools. What a private school chooses to teach and how they interact with parents is not addressed.

Second, and probably where much of the debate comes from, is the introductory paragraph, which is a litany of more than a dozen assertions about what the purpose of the bill is. Most of it relates to parental notification and involvement in school approaches to the well-being, both physical and mental, of students.

The basic assertion is that the school and its personnel are not to undertake any actions in the realm of a student’s well-being without either prior involvement of the parents in the decision, or if something happens in the moment, without notifying the parents. In the midst of the litany is a reference to not encouraging classroom discussion on sexual orientation or gender identity in “primary grade levels”. But let’s get into the actual bill, since the preamble doesn’t contain any details of anything enforceable.

The first section of the actual bill requires that a school adopt clear policies for notifying a parent if their child seeks help, or a teacher notices an issue, around their physical, mental, well-being. It requires that the school recommend the child talk to their parent first, and that the parent give permission for the school to be involved in the process. It carves out a clear exception for cases of suspected child abuse that might involve a parent.

But, the troubling part of this is, as someone who began to “come out” as gay during high school, and had friends who did as well, being able to talk to a teacher or counselor about it because of fear of parental reaction, was really important. Had they been prohibited from talking to me about it, I’m not sure where I’d have sought out support. Well, I actually do – since most of the counseling I got ended up being from my rabbi, who was open about having a conversation and not talking to my parents about it, though he did encourage me to do so.

In the same vein, the second section prohibits the school from requiring students to fill out questionnaires or participate in activities that might lead them to openly discuss issues of their physical, mental, or emotional well-being in the school, as opposed to talking to their parents about them (same exception in regard to potential child abuse cases).

Again, the same issue arises… since some of these sorts of issues (at this point, nothing’s been mentioned in the meat of the bill about sexual orientation or gender identity, but we are headed that way) are ones that many kids have reasonable concerns about talking to their parents about. Taking away the option for counseling and support without parental notification or permission leaves vulnerable kids even more at risk for not getting support.

Section three is clearly the one where the “Don’t Say Gay” moniker comes from. But honestly, to me, this is the least troubling part of the bill. The first two sections, as I noted, are where I see a real issue. The only thing that this section prohibits is “classroom instruction” by teachers, administrators, or third parties about sexual orientation or gender identity, for students who are in kindergarten through third grade. From fourth grade on, there’s no prohibition, though there’s an oddly phrased sentence about such classes being age appropriate, not defined, which obviously could be subject to a variety of interpretations. The big issue here is it leaves that definition in the hands of the department of education, which could well make up all sorts of reasons for not teaching about these topics to various grade levels, depending on political pressures from state officials.

While it’s possible that a six year-old could have questions or concerns that might be addressed in counseling (back to the first section), I have to agree that kids of that age don’t need to have those conversations in class. The bill doesn’t prohibit a teacher or administrator from answering questions about such topics, it prohibits making it a part of the curriculum. Could the term “classroom instruction” be misused to castigate a teacher for their approach to answering questions? I suppose, but I imagine that’s in the arena of fine points that will end up in a courtroom.

Section four is pretty innocuous, and probably no different from what every department of education law includes – that any support services offered by school personnel must adhere to guidelines established by the school system and the state’s department of education. Obviously, those guidelines could be altered to be something horrific, but that’s not part of this bill.

Section five requires that the school notify parents at the beginning of the school year what sorts of health services and counseling the school makes available to both students and their parents. Pretty standard.

Section six requires that the schools notify and receive permission from a parent before administering either physical or mental health questionnaires to their kids.

Section seven basically just establishes the details of what parental notification and permission involves, and parental remedies if a school violates any of the above rules.

In sum, my biggest concern revolves around the lack of access to outside support for vulnerable kids that is built into the first two sections of this bill, now law, that goes into effect this July.

I understand the impetus that many, if not most parents, have to be involved in the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of their kids, and to not have an “outsider” having those conversations. At the same time, they might want to take a momentary step back, and think about their own childhood and teen years, and whether there were issues that they really needed to talk to someone other than their parents about.

Prohibiting any sort of counseling or conversation with a student in this arena on the part of school personnel without parental involvement is short-sighted, and is more likely to create more serious well-being issues for kids. Obviously there need to be some lines that aren’t to be crossed, but the way those two sections of the bill are worded aren’t where the line ought to be. And including vaguely worded phrases like “age appropriate” or “developmentally appropriate” in the law, with the definition of those left to a group of employees of the state, beholden to the governor and/or legislature for their employment, is a slippery slope to nowhere good.

[The bill can be found here: Senate/House bill

Commentary

GLBT, Politics

Hidings in Plain Sight

Dan P.Saturday, June 13, 20200

We’re in quarantine, and what is there to do besides lots of TV, movies, online surfing, gaming, and reading. A couple of friends recommended the new book Hiding in Plain Sight, by Sarah Kendzior, a journalist, about the “rise of” Donald Trump. When I sought it out, it turned out there a whole slew of books with the title Hiding in Plain Sight, and what the heck, it was a “project”.

Hiding in Plain Sight: The Invention of Donald Trump and the Erosion of America

Sarah Kendzior

I hate to say it, but… yawn, and no. Given her background in journalism and her history of pointing to “the dark times”, I have to say I expected a hell of a lot more. Basically the book is a bunch of repackaged info from various articles and opinion pieces we’ve been subjected to over the last four years plus since Trump became a prominent figure in the political world. Her primary news source seems to be Buzzfeed, and while not to denigrate them as a news source, they’re certainly not the be all and end all of political and economic news. Other than a brief glance at Trump’s early years, one would think on reading this book that he, the state of the U.S. both economically and politically, all began somewhere around the year 2000, during the Bush 2 years, and that it all came as a complete shift in the landscape of America from that moment on, and took everyone by surprise. Except her, of course, because she’s been sounding the alarm since then, basically the year she graduated from college. How prescient. The book focuses much on Trump’s connection to Russia, both to the Putin government and to shadowy crime figures in the Russian mafia in New York City, some named, some not – the vast majority of it based on his real estate dealings with various Russians, and little else. She also stoops to the tired, anti-semitic tropes of various “Jewish” finance figures – and before anyone jumps to point out that some of those figures Trump dealt with were, indeed, Jewish, let me just point out in return, she doesn’t refer to any of the myriad of other finance figures he’s dealt with over the years as “Christian”, “Muslim”, “Hindu”, “Buddhist”, or any other religions – but she makes sure to identify each Jew as a Jew, even down to reminding us more than once that Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, is “one of them”. I finished off the book feeling like a needed a shower. Not just from the possibility that some or even all, of what she wrote might be true (I’m not discounting that it may well be), but from her blatant biases. ☆☆

Hiding in Plain Sight: A Street Kid’s Journey from Female to Male

Zane Thimmesch-Gill

Not a book I would normally gravitate towards, but I’m glad I read it. It was a fascinating first person memoir of a “FTM”, or female to male, transgender teen, ostracized from, at the time, “her” family, following through to a mix of attempts at foster home living, living on the street, living in shelters, and more. All the while, she does her best to maintain high school and later, college studies, while coming to grips with one form of gender dysphoria that ultimately leads her partially down the path to a transition to being male. While we don’t know the eventual outcome, it’s clear that there’s no one path for him. For the most part the book is highly engaging, and paints a picture of a life that most of us can’t begin to imagine. At times it seems a bit overblown, and I found myself thinking, “how could you react to this situation like this, where someone is trying to help/be kind”, but, I’ve also never been in the situation, and no doubt there are psychological and physiological factors that I can’t fathom without having lived it. Worth a read. ☆☆☆☆

Hiding in Plain Sight: Eluding the Nazis in Occupied France

Sarah Lew Miller

A quick read. Understandably, given the subject matter – a teenage Jewish girl’s story of her family’s survival during WWII, it’s kind of hard not to compare it to the more famous work of Anne Frank. But it’s not the same story – different countries, different situations, different outcomes. It lacks some of the intensity of the famed Diary, mostly because she, and her family, are able to basically continue to live their lives. They get jobs, they find places to live, they have neighbors and friends, they have people who help them and care for them. It’s still a very poignant story, and a reminder of a time not all that long ago. And, of course, given the times we’re living in, it’s difficult not to also consider the lives of people around the world during the current pandemic, and the different levels of existence that different people, in various cultures, are experiencing. Well worth a read. ☆☆☆☆

Hiding in Plain Sight: The Incredible True Story of a German-Jewish Teenager’s Struggle to Survive in Nazi-Occupied Poland

Betty Lauer

Staying in virtually the same theme, we once again have a teenager’s diary, in essence, of the same. So, I’ll start it with the same opening as the previous review…. Understandably, given the subject matter – a teenage Jewish girl’s story of her family’s survival during WWII, it’s kind of hard not to compare it to the more famous work of Anne Frank. But it’s not the same story – different countries, different situations, different outcomes. The book is well written, and although phrased in first person, is, as above, an “as told to”, by the author. The life of young Berta Weissberger, and the place and time that the book covers, are actually pretty interesting, a bit more so, or perhaps it’s just the quality of the writing, than the previous book. The biggest issue in this book is that the book is almost as interminable as the six years it covers – it goes on for nearly 600 pages, detailing day to day life in, at times, excruciatingly unnecessary detail, as one day after another often looks much like the previous day. Still, I found it an engaging read and worth recommending. ☆☆☆☆

Hiding in Plain Sight: A Shelby Belgarden Mystery

Valerie Sherrard

Without meaning to be flip about it, this is the sort of book that people who like this sort of book will like. It’s a cute mystery, a bit “Nancy Drew” – all teenage girls and giggles and crushes and the like. As such, it’s not my cup of tea, but then, I’m not the target audience for the book either. It’s clearly a “YA” book aimed at the teen set of the female gender. Maybe because I read a lot of mysteries, or maybe just because the author makes sure to point out the clues, several of them repeatedly, in a sort of “this will be on the test” manner, but I’d basically worked out the whole thing by a little over halfway through the book. If you’re a teenage girl who likes easy reading mysteries, you may well enjoy this. ☆☆☆

Hiding in Plain Sight

Lucy Felthouse

I… just can’t. I’m not even sure if it was well written, it was just so far outside my personal comfort zone to read that I couldn’t give you an honest assessment of that. Nothing red flagged me with major grammar or spelling typos, so, there’s that. But, basically, it’s a soft-porn novel that pretends to be about a supposed professional, experienced spy. One who just turns to jelly when a handsome man looks at her, and a) can’t get her and his clothes off fast enough, b) immediately heads into the “oooh, a man likes me and he’s sexy and kisses well, maybe I should give it all up for love, and c) can’t keep her mind on her job. Professional…? I don’t get the hype and high reviews for this book – unless they’re all coming from very, very, lonely people. ☆☆

Hiding in Plain Sight

Mary Ellis

A well written, fast paced, easy read of a private detective novel. I like the style, I found the principal characters likable. And, I don’t mind that there’s a clear Catholic bent to both the writing and the story – I assume that that’s the author’s background and she brings what she knows to make the novel work. But, there are negatives. The secondary characters are a bit caricatured, right out of central casting stereotypes for Italian Americans; the Catholicism takes momentary negative turns with snide or disparaging remarks or thoughts on the part of the principals towards other Christians, and, no doubt the horror to end all horrors, those of either lapsed faith, or… can we use the word, atheists; and last, while not limited to this author, why does it seem like every female detective needs to fall head over heals in love with some guy who she randomly meets on a case? (If anyone can point me to a detective series with a strong female protagonist who doesn’t go that route, I’m interested!) It was still an enjoyable read, though the negatives are enough that I don’t find myself moved to continue on to other books in the series. ☆☆☆

This seems a good place wrap up this post, with a septet of books delved into. There are plenty more of the same name, plus a slew of Hide in Plain Sight, or just In Plain Sight. On the fiction side they seem to bounce between romance and detective novels, while on the non-fiction side, there’s a hunt for Nazis, a bible truths tome, a book of investing essays, and more. Whether I come back to this venture remains to be seen. It was an interesting approach to finding things to read that I might not normally be on the lookout for, and instead, I might just try something similar with another title. Time will tell.

Books (Reviews)

Books, Fiction, GLBT, History, Mysteries, Politics

You Can Keep Your $3 Bill

Dan P.Friday, October 18, 20193

I’m not Queer. I’m Gay. Clinically, I suppose Homosexual. But, I’m not Queer.

I was recently chastised for not “being woke” and “accepting my Queer identity”. Well, sorry, but I don’t have one of those. “If you’re Gay, you’re Queer, you just haven’t accepted it yet” was the response. Well, no, if they were the same thing, if it wasn’t a separate identity tag, we wouldn’t need both a G and a Q in that ridiculous alphabet soup of 2SLGBTQIA+. We’d pick one and stick with it. We’d come up with one term to encompass us all, and we could have one letter. Maybe a superfluous letter like C. I don’t know what it would stand for, but it would be far easier.

Sidebar: When I first moved to NYC in 1982, I was fairly active politically in gay politics, and I became a volunteer at what was then NGTF, the National Gay Task Force. I became part of the “inner circle” of people who met at least once a week, usually twice – I was one of the two people who setup, ran, and trained the staff for the “crisis hotline” that we started around that time. And, I was part of the debate that went on for many long hours in 1985 over whether or not to change the name to NGLTF, the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force. I came down on the side of no. Not because I didn’t understand the argument from the lesbians who proposed it, but because I felt that it was a slippery slope to ending up with, as I put it above, a ridiculous alphabet soup, as one group after another came forward to demand an addition to the name. Those of us in that group ended up being the minority, and the executive board passed and changed the name. We were assured that it would “never happen”. Thankfully, somewhere along the line, as it did actually happen, the board decided against ending up with the N2SGLBTQIA+TF and the organization became simply known as The Task Force. I think it kind of loses something there, but maybe that’s just me.

See, I’m from a generation where the word queer was an epithet, something that got said to you while you were being slammed up against a locker in the hallway. It was used just as often as fag, the other major slur thrown out as a fist smashed into your jaw. It was, perhaps, a trifle more polite among genteel society, who might never tell a fag joke, but held nothing back when telling a queer one. Sort of the equivalent of sambo, spook, or spade for Black people in place of nigger (I’m going to use a few terms in this post that I would never normally use, because I want them to make a point – I hope never to use them again).

And perhaps that’s why it was “chosen” as one to create a political/social identity. “Reclaiming the word” from the haters, much as some in the Black community reclaimed the word nigger, though at times modifying into nigga, perhaps to show some sort of difference, or evolution, or perhaps it’s just an Ebonic shift [Edit: John McWhorter, one of my favorite linguists, has a whole section of one of his podcasts devoted to the difference, I stand corrected.]. The problem is, as it is for many Black people hearing that word, that queer to me still brings up all those old associations of hate. I’m not interested in putting in the work on my psyche to shift my view and make it a positive thing, burying the past. It’s no surprise that while this movement started in the 1980s, the word queer has primarily been adopted by younger generations, ones for whom the word already has begun to lose its sharp edge while they were growing up. Someone throws it at them and they can proudly claim it for themselves.

But for me – hey, let me adopt the vernacular of the day – it’s a trigger word. You get to have yours, you want me to be woke enough to accept that there are words that trigger you? Fine, you better woke up yourself and accept that your word choice is one for me. I’m not going to demand that you don’t use it, I am going to demand that you accept that it’s not the word for me, and that no matter how many times you say it proudly, I’m going to cringe, and find it offensive. And while I understand your desire for me to use it when I refer to you, it’s a word that I simply won’t use – I’ll do my best not to offend you by using a word that’s not your preference, but I’m not going to use a word that for me, retains its derogatory meaning.

But, even more so, in this presidential campaigning season, I’m finding it offensive from those who are not a member of either the Queer or Gay or Lesbian or… you get the idea… communities. Elizabeth Warren, who is not my “cup of tea”, I often agree with her on what the problems are, but rarely on what the solutions are, is the worst offender. She stands up in front of crowds and bursts out with how happy she is to be in front of her “Queer brothers and sisters” or some such. Not 2SLGBTQIA+, or any variation of, or speaking those out in their individual words. No, she just lumps us all as one big Queer Community. And it grates on my nerves every time. I mean, even Mayor Pete doesn’t do that, and he at least would have some claim to be a part of the generally identified group.

Now, let’s try a thought experiment. Or two. Let’s go to a Trump rally. Remember when Trump said that he was “a real friend of the gays”? Imagine that he said “I’m a real friend of the queers”. Imagine that he stood in front of a group of Black voters and said, “I’m a real friend of the niggas”. Or the Jewish community and said, “I’m a real friend of the kikes”. Etc., etc. But okay, I get it, Donald Trump is way and below “not my cup of tea” for many of us. So let’s go back to Warren, or one of the other Democratic candidates who has, on occasion, thrown out the word queer (though as best I can think of, she’s the only one who has used it on its own, a couple of others have either used the acronym or spelled it out with gay, lesbian, bi, queer, trans…). Imagine Warren standing in front of a group of “ethnic” voters of appropriate stripe and saying, “I’m so happy to be in front of a proud group of my nigga/kike/spic/wop/towelhead/nip/chink brothers and sisters”?

I’m guessing you can get that that wouldn’t go over well with a whole lot of them. And you know what, “queer” doesn’t go over well with a whole lot of us.

Commentary

GLBT, History, Politics

Flag Waiving

Dan P.Monday, September 25, 20170

I’ve had an itch. There has been so much stuff going on in the world of politics, economics, and everything else, over the last few years – or maybe it’s just become more important to me – that I want to have my say. And hey, I already have this platform, and while this site may have been primarily a mix of published articles and critiques of restaurants and books, why not critique other stuff?

I know, I know. “You’re a chef, stfu about politics, stay in the kitchen and cook.” Yeah, well, you’re an office worker, a landscaper, a police officer, a hairdresser… so stay in your cubicle, garden, squad car, or salon, and stfu yourself. As the saying goes, opinions are like assholes, we all have one (except for the rare individual with imperforate anus or a similar medical condition, but we’re not going there… oops).

So, I’m going to pick topics that strike me as interesting, or get me riled up, or whatever it may be, and write a brief commentary on them. Plus, maybe it will breathe some life into this blog. Maybe I’ll even get a comment (nasty ones with all sorts of curse words or insults will most likely be simply deleted, unless I can find a way to make your life hell by using it in some fashion). So, onto the show….

You might have guessed from the title, this is going to be about the whole flag, Pledge of Allegiance, taking a knee controversy.

Personally, I grew up with the Pledge of Allegiance. We recited it daily, standing at attention, hand over the heart, and with gusto. It’s ingrained into me. I see people asking questions on Facebook and Twitter about whether the folk who are so riled up about the whole take-a-knee thing are standing and reciting the pledge when they’re at home watching the game. First off, there’s no requirement to do that, there’s a whole protocol for being in the presence of the flag and all that, but you know what, while I don’t stand at attention, I usually find that I’ve pretty much automatically put my hand over my heart and quietly recited the pledge to myself along with the folk on the screen. It’s so automatic I’d have to truly put a conscious effort into not doing it.

I spent a lot of my earlier years in one form or another of public service. Be it in the Boy Scouts, on into being an Explorer Scout with the Ann Arbor Police Department. Be it in Army ROTC for a year and half until being asked to resign because we were back in the days before Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Be it participating in the Michigan State Police summer programs. Be it as an EMT and later a paramedic for the ambulance services in Washtenaw County. Volunteer for the Red Cross, teaching CPR and First Aid. I was interviewed (several times) by the CIA (yes, that one, not the Culinary one) when I was working on my doctorate in psychology, for a profiler position, until I told them I was gay, at which time they offered me a job in the secretarial pool.

One of the things that was always present, and it’s been said more eloquently by many veterans, including some who disagree with the take-a-knee stance, was that part of what we were there to protect was people’s right to dissent, people’s right to free speech, people’s right to protest. That’s part of what America is all about.

And I understand the urge, the need, to protest. I’m not black, never have been, never will be. But I am gay, and I am Jewish, and I have had my share of prejudice to deal with. Setting aside being asked to leave the Army and the CIA, I’ve been fired from two jobs for it. In the restaurant business of all places. Going back to my days as a paramedic, I was stripped of being a supervisor because of it. And actually, before that, I’d worked as a security guard on University of Michigan’s campus, and I was stripped of being a supervisor there for being gay too. I’ve been physically attacked for it at least a dozen times that I can think of. I was refused admittance to Yom Kippur services at a synagogue of which I’d been a member for years, when the board of the synagogue took it into their heads to root out the homosexuals. And when it comes to verbal abuse, both for being gay and for being Jewish, I can’t remotely begin to count the number of incidents I’ve been through in my life.

And so, I’ve participated, mostly in my younger years, in protests and rallies and organizations and what-have-you that were in favor of gay rights, or against antisemitism. I don’t do so much of that anymore because I’m simply tired of having life being about a constant battle. I just don’t have the energy to invest in it, I want my energy invested in things that are positive, and creative, and yeah, I know that may be a cop out, but so be it.

So here’s the thing. I viscerally don’t like what Colin Kaepernick did that launched this whole movement. It’s automatic. I’m one of those people who when someone doesn’t stand during the Pledge, or doesn’t put their hand over their heart, nudges them to do so. But I wouldn’t force them to. I wouldn’t call them names. I wouldn’t demand they be punished. Because I recognize that regardless of my personal feelings about it, they have the right to theirs. I recognize that he, and the other players who have now taken a stand, or a knee, beside him, aren’t “disrespecting the flag”, anymore than any other person who chooses not to recite the Pledge is. They’re not “expressing a political opinion”.

They’re calling attention to the fact that after decades of supposed progress in integration and equal treatment, we just aren’t there yet. Be it in opportunities, compensation, inclusion, oppression, violence, or hey, even joke-telling, it just ain’t equal. As a friend posted earlier today on Facebook, “Thinking NFL players are ‘protesting the flag’ is like thinking Rosa Parks was protesting public transportation.”

I know this from my particular circle in the world, when here we are in 2017 and I have friends and acquaintances, many of them who claim to be bastions of tolerance and liberalism, who think nothing of telling fag jokes, or making comments about Henry’s and my relationship that they’d never make to a straight couple, or making assumptions about our relationship based on our age and cultural/racial differences (the latter brings up a whole other can of worms that has allowed me to see some disturbing racism in friends whom I never wouldathunkit of) or thinking it’s okay to comment on their imagination about what my (or other gay people’s) sex life is all about, or imploring me to “understand” why someone, at random, or an employer, or whomever, has a reaction to my being gay (usually justified by some sort of religious context).

To sum it up, while I personally will probably always stand and recite the Pledge, and the flag is something that holds a place in my heart, that’s emotional. As a thinking person, and as someone who believes in democracy, I will also always respect the right of any of my fellow citizens to not to do so. I may not like it, but I get it. And that’s the key point I want to make. It doesn’t actually matter why Kaepernick, or anyone else, chooses not to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Even if there were no racism, no oppression, even if it was all, as the saying goes, rainbows and unicorns, for people of color, it’s irrelevant. We live in a democracy and they don’t have to stand or pledge. That’s their right.

And yes, sure, an individual team owner could choose to fire them for it, legally – First Amendment rights don’t apply to employment situations (unless your employer is the government). And I’d support the right of that employer to do so, even if I don’t think they should, morally – the issues are too important in this day and age. And you know what, it’s a minute at the beginning of a football game. Stand, pledge your heart out, let the players (and spectators) who choose not to, have their moment too, and then get on with the game. And then after the game, let’s get to work on the issues they’re protesting so that one day, hopefully soon, no one feels the need to take a knee.

Commentary

GLBT, Politics, Racism

The Book Stack #6

Dan P.Monday, October 31, 20160

Continuing with some more fantasy, and a bit of other….

My Tender Matador / Tengo Miedo Torero, Pedro Lemebel, September 2002, Translator: Katherine Silver

Let’s start outside the realm of fantasy. I actually don’t remember how this one came to my attention – it’s the story, basically, of the end of the days of Augustin Pinochet’s rule over Chile, focused on the events leading up to an attempted assassination. The book goes back and forth between Pinochet’s viewpoint, and that of an aging drag queen, the latter of whom has befriended a young, handsome man who turns out to be involved in the assassination attempt. It’s extremely well written, and the characters are well defined. It was a little slow reading for me as I initially started reading this in the original Spanish version, but the constant use of colloquial terms and street slang made it near impossible, and what I ended up doing was reading the two versions more or less side by side (learned a lot of Chilean street slang!). ☆☆☆

Code of Conduct, Brad Thor, July 2015

Over time I’ve read through the entire previous series (15 previous books) of the “Scot Horvath” novels. These are sort of Jack Bauer/24 on steroids if you can imagine that. They’re thrillers. They’re fast paced, they require some level of suspension of disbelief – they’re not totally out of left field, they’re basically, “what if?” scenarios that any of us could imagine given the state of the world right now, even if highly unlikely. And Thor makes them completely believable as potential scenarios. For me, given that I like thrillers of this sort, they’re entertaining as well as thought provoking. Fast reads. And, this one fits right in with all of that. There’s now a 17th novel out, Foreign Agent, and it’s on my reading stack! ☆☆☆☆

The Ronin Trilogy, Travis Heermann

Another trilogy, this one consisting of Heart of the Ronin (2010), Sword of the Ronin (2013), Spirit of the Ronin (2015). I stumbled across this one when I was looking for some martial arts books for study, and it looked interesting. Since the first volume was available for free on my Kindle Unlimited account, I gave it a spin, and rapidly went on to the sequels. Although set in feudal Japan, and following the story of a ronin, a masterless samurai, the writing style is very “western” in its approach, which gave them an interesting flavor – sort of like watching a completely foreign culture and concept develop from an outside observer’s eye. The author has a nice little quip on his site, “Writing fiction set in a far different time and place is challenging. The key is cram as much background information into your brain, let it percolate for a while, and see what bubbles out.”. And, no question, that’s what he’s done – creating a real image of a very different world than I’m familiar with, and at the same time, letting it develop in a way that I could actually visualize it, without feeling lost. I loved it. ☆☆☆☆

The Inheritance Trilogy, N.K. Jemisin

And, yet another trilogy! The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms (2010), The Broken Kingdoms (2010), The Kingdom of Gods (2011). This one took me a little bit to get into. I can’t even tell you exactly what it was about it – it’s certainly well written, and an interesting concept. I think that it was that the protagonist in the first volume just didn’t resonate with me, and I initially found her viewpoint to be sort of a bore, or maybe it was just that the development of the story started out too slowly for me. But, the book picked up, and I ended up enjoying it enough to go on to the other two volumes, which take place from the viewpoints of other characters, and I liked both of those volumes much more. I mean, what’s not to like about a world where humans, gods, godlings, and demons, all live together and interact on a daily basis? In the end, highly recommendable. And, a nice perk that you can buy the entire trilogy in one volume. ☆☆☆☆

The Price of Retribution, Christopher Cartwright, March 2015

For such a small book (okay, 370 pages), it’s a pretty sweeping epic story, that starts with a jewel heist in long ago London and then jumps across the oceans to Australia, and back again. Another sort of “gentleman thief” – I guess those sort just attract me – it’s a great story, with romance, revenge, and a bit of rampaging. I found the writing to be quite good – at times it wandered a little, and I felt like for a moment that I, or the author, was losing the plot, but then it came back on track. The characters are interesting, though I felt that while the central ones are really well developed, that those who were not directly a part of the main storyline were a little greyed out by comparison, as if they didn’t really matter that much. ☆☆☆

The Book of Strange New things, Michel Faber, June 2015

The writing itself was fine, the author is excellent at drawing out characterization and visuals that many would find difficult to imagine. And the overall arc of the story is interesting and was enough to keep me going through to the end. However, the protagonist, and his wife, who we basically don’t meet other than briefly at the beginning and then through a series of letters, are some of the most unpleasant, unsympathetic “good guys” that one could care to encounter. Misogynistic, racist, religiously intolerant, judgmental, and constantly spouting stereotypes about everyone and everything around them – it was just plain unpleasant to read. (Honestly, given the time period I was reading this in, it was like trying to listen to Donald Trump talk about anyone who isn’t American, White, Male, and Christian.) And it was made worse because it was cloaked in a sort of pious righteousness. ☆☆

Books (Reviews)

Books, Fantasy, GLBT, Politics, Science Fiction, Thrillers

Lo que pasa en Buenos Aires

Dan P.Saturday, February 7, 20090

Passport Magazine
February 2009
pgs 34-40Lo que pasa en Buenos AiresThis exciting and inexpensive South American city is well known for its historic landmarks, beautiful parks, and excellent art museums. It is also an easy-going culture, where stopping to chat with friends, lingering over a coffee in a sidewalk café, or enjoying a glass of one of the country’s great wines at a local bar, all take precedence over any business appointment or preplanned event. Despite being located in a very conservative, Catholic with a capital C, country, the city of Buenos Aires itself is a bastion of liberality. Same-sex domestic partnerships have been legal since 2003, with a proposed full marriage ill up for debate. Gay bars abound, and restaurants that cater to our set are scattered throughout the various neighborhoods. Meanwhile, curious travelers will discover a plethora of entertainment, shopping, and nightlife options to rival any of the world’s great cities.

RESTING YOUR HEAD

Among the most popular spots for gay travelers are the gay owned bed and breakfasts. the two principal ones are Lugar Gay in the historic San Telmo neighborhood, and Bayres in Palermo, the former being men-only, the latter mixed gender. Another favorite, Posada de Palermo, in Palermo, has wonderfully comfortable rooms, great prices, and one of the best breakfast spreads in the city. For those on a budget, the End of the World Gay Hostel, on the border of San Telmo and La Boca, is a relatively new option. It’s a somewhat seedy neighborhood, but the place is clean and well kept, and transportation is easily available to other parts of town.

Celebrating its first anniversary this year, the self-proclaimed “five-star” Axel Hotel, located just outside of San Telmo in Monserrat, is becoming the new in-spot for the upscale gay traveler. A gleaming architectural triumph of glass and steel, it houses four dozen rooms, two pools (including a completely glass one located on the roof, hovering over a six story open lobby). The Axel’s one drawback is its location on a deserted (at night) industrial street, but then, anyone staying at the Axel is likely to have no problem springing for a taxi to more interesting zones.

Other gay-friendly options include the Art Hotel in Recoleta, which offers up quite nice, if slightly small, rooms at a very reasonable price, and boasts an excellent multilingual staff. On the fancier side is the Faena + Universe, situated on the far side of the refurbished warehouse and dock area known as Puerto Madero. It’s a fair hike from the rest of town, and sort of like taking a room at the South Street Seaport in New York or Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. It’s one of the finest hotels in the city and it features two excellent restaurants, a couple of delightful bars, and its own art galleries.

Meanwhile, the new Palacio Duhau Park Hyatt is attracting jet setters to its converted mansion packed with amazing artwork, several restaurants, and one of the few true wine bars in the city. Smaller boutique hotels that offer more personalized service are springing around the city as well. The two most well known, and among the best options, are the Home Hotel and the Bobo, both located in the heart of Palermo’s trendy design district.

EAT, DRINK, & BE MERRY

Porteños (port dwellers), as the local citizens call themselves, seem to spend more time in restuarants and cafés than they do at home or work. It does help that the North American/European penchant for “turning tables” is non-existent in Buenos aires; once seated, the table is yours until you care to leave, whether you order anything past your first coffee, cocktail, or appetizer…or not. It would be unthinkable of a restaurant to even suggest that you might order more, or free up the space for a more spendthrift customer – it’s just not done. With free Wi-Fi access in most of the central part of town, whiling away the day at a table is de rigeur.

Among the spots in the city where you can enjoy a quiet dinner, Desde el Alma in Palermo is considered by many to be the most romantic in town. A converted home with small tables and comfortable chairs stuck in various nooks and crannies, this hot spot offers creative takes on Argentine cuisine, and you can count on virtually every customer being paired up for date night.

On the gay front, the petite La Olla de Felix, located in the heart of Recoleta, can’t be beat. Here you will find simple, classic French food at a great price from the former chef of the Ritz-Carlton in Paris. Empire Thai, located in the heart of downtown, is home to some of the better Asian food in the city. Owner Kevin Rodriguez, a former banker, fell in love with this restaurant while visiting Buenos Aires on a business trip. When he heard the owners were selling it, he quit his bank job and bought the place.

For those who want truly exquisite culinary experiences, the modern Argentine stylings of various chefs await your discovery. These include: Germán Martitegui’s trendy and expensive Casa Cruz in Palermo where an ever present bevy of cute youngsters brings some of the best food in town to your table; Martin Molteni’s amazing cuisine at Pura Tierra is served up in a beautiful old home in Belgrano; Rodrigo Ginzuk’s stunning French-Argentine fusion cuisine at Maat, a gorgeously restored palacio in Belgrano – officially a private club, but open to the public when not filled with members; and Fernando Mayoral’s borderline “molecular gastronomy”style served up at Thymus, in Palermo. All are don’t miss spots.

If you find yourself in need of English-speaking company, Amaranta Bistro in Recoleta prepares an odd mix of US, Mexican, and Italian cooking in a café environment with virtually all customers speaking English in one form or another. They also offer one of the better brunches in town.

THE NIGHT IS YOUNG

There’s no one district in the city that is particularly gay, though there’s been a push to declare historic San Telmo as the heart of the gay community. This is an odd choice, given that outside of one B&B (and the nearby new hostel and hotel, both mentioned above) and the odd business here and there, there’s no gay nightlife to speak of here.

Most nightlife, gay or straight, begins late in Buenos Aires. It’s not unusual for a club to open around midnight, with bars opening not much earlier. Drag and stripper shows are popular in many venues. One of the few places open for an earlier drink is Flux Bar, located in Retiro near to downtown, where an after-work crowd gathers in an underground space hosted by owners Jamie Taylor and Ilia Konon.

A hotspot for gathering (locally called a punta de encuentro) is the area in Recoleta near to the intersection of avenues Pueyrredón and Santa Fé. Here you’ll find the casual café El Olmo, a spot to meet with friends before heading out for a night of drinking and dancing, as well as a place to pickup local taxi-boys, or hustlers. Within a few block radius are several gay bars, including the ever popular Search for its late night shows, Km Zero for its dancers, and Angel’s Disco for its transvestite and rough-trade crowd. On the far side of Recoleta, bordering on Palermo, the city’s largest barrio, are the large clubs Amerika and Glam. These places are generally packed with boys who want to dance the night away, and/or disappear into the “dark rooms.” Just a few blocks away is the new kid in town called Sitges, with a mix of young gay, lesbian, and straight folk in a large lounge-style space that rivals Amerika in size, though with a focus on drag shows and lots of drinking.

FIRMING AND TONING

After a few late nights of drinking, dining, and dancing (not to mention sightseeing packed days) you’ll probably need to relax and rejuvenate a bit. Full spa treatments are available at almost all the luxury hotels, regardless of whether you’re a guest of the hotel or not. A few hours spent at the popular Markus Day Spa in Recoleta will set you feeling right as well. Inexpensive massages are available throughout the city: most hotels have someone on call or at least someone to recommend. If you’re in or near Recoleta, the Centro Cultural Chino along Santa Fé doles out deep-tissue acupressure-style massages. The same is available at any of several locations in Belgrano’s small Chinatown neighborhood.

When it comes to working out, porteños, for the most part, aren’t into the whole muscle building world. Gyms are social spots, and working out is more for simply keeping healthy and looking good rather than developing large biceps. Most gyms, and they’re all over the city, offer up daily or weekly rates that are quite inexpensive. Amongst the gay set, the friendly and fairly “hot” gym is the American Hot Gym in Recoleta. The one real “chain” gym in the city is called Megatlon, a very sleek, modern group with spaces in multiple locations. They cater to the expat and wealthy crowd, with a large number of gay men in attendance, and their prices are pretty much the same as you’d pay in the States.

SHOP TILL YOU DROP

While most travel guides will send you off to the famed pedestrian mall that is Calle Florida, the truth is, you won’t find anything there that you can’t find back home, including the same brands, and probably at the same price. Where Buenos Aires stands out is with its legion of young, hip designers.

For the designer set, head off into the aptly named Palermo SoHo. Here, you’ll find the streets lined with one shop after another, interspersed with enough restaurants and cafes to give you a spot to rest while you shop. For the guys, start off along Gurruchaga, in the 1700 block (near Costa Rica Street) at the well known El Cid, the best spot for anyone into the preppy look. Some of the hottest sweater designs, sport jackets, and classic style shirts line the racks here. For the gals, the neighboring Vietnam: Moda offers up some trendy local takes on Asian design.

If you’re a bit more informal than the preppy type, visit the completely hip and casual Antique Denim shop just a block away, where new takes on old jeans and vintage clothing makeovers are the order of the day. A mere block further on you’ll find yourself at Bolivia, which somehow manages to combine gay style and equally intriguing designs for women as well.

Moving over to the parallel Armenia Street, women discover trendy suburban and country style looks at Awada, or edgy, urban designs at Janet Wise . For those missing out on their high end skin care products, Kiehl’s of New York has just opened up a Buenos Aires branch on the same block, bringing in their whole range of products direct from the Big Apple.

There are plenty of other shops to poke your head into along the way, but there are two musts to end your neighborhood stroll. For the obys, there’s simply no gayer design shop than Garçon García. Here the clothes are beyond trendy and you may need to use a fire extinguisher on the staff just to cut back on their flaming.

Meanwhile, the lesbian set, especially those with a true shoe fetish, have to end their walk at Lucila Iotti where some of the hottest designs in multi-textural footwear are on display in the teensiest of shops.

Outside of designer clothes, Buenos Aires is, of course, famous for its leather. The heart of the leather world, offering everything from clutch purses to full length dusters, is the three block wholesale leather district along Murillo Street. This is where you’ll find not only the best designs, but the best prices. Probably the best known shop for visitors is 666, conveniently located along the street at that same address.

If you’re looking for home furnishings and décor, by far the best spot to head is the Buenos Aires Design Center, located in the heart of old Recoleta. The design center is a two story complex containing a couple dozen shops, each specializing in one form or another of objets d’art for the home. If you reach the end of the shop till you drop day here, the upper level has a selection of restaurants, from the very casual Hard Rock Café to Primafila, one of the better Italian spots in the city and a renowned spot for celebrity watching.

ART = LIFE

Buenos Aires is known for its art and architecture, and there are wonderful museums and galleries throughout the city to explore. For those who simply want a taste of what the city has to offer, there’s a convenient strip of museums, sort our own Museum Mile, that begins at the Palais de Glace with its photo and plastic arts exhibits, generally with a historical and political bent; the Recoleta Cultural Center, a free multi-space museum cum gallery that hosts a regularly changing array of works by contemporary and classic Argentine artists; the Bellas Artes, or fine arts museum, with its stunning collection of 17th- to 19th-century European art; the Museo Nacional de Arte Decorativo, a beautifully restored palace with each room decked out from a different colonial period, showing off the changing fashions of home design over the last two centuries; and MALBA, one of the finest private collections of modern and contemporary Latin American art. If you only have time to visit one museum, I highly recommend the Xul Solar museum – they say there’s a fine line between genius and madness, and this artist’s work may be one of the most amazing demonstrations of that truism.

Of course, you may prefer art that will end up on your walls at home. While there are galleries throughout the city, there is also one spot where some of the best are concentrated, the short, two-block Arroyo street on the edge of hte downtown area. Centered around the Sofitel hotel, this duo of blocks hosts galleries that contain everything from centuries’ old classic European art at places like Santo Stefano and Renoir, to contemporary galleries such as Palatina, Aldo de Souza, and the Holz that showcase local artists.

If antiquing and flea market wandering is more your style, you can’t miss the weekly Sunday afternoon outdoor market in San Telmo, centered around the Plaza Dorrego and stretching out along the main street of Defensa. During the week, the same Defensa street is home to some of the finest antique shops in the city, and an afternoon of browsing will likely net you something for your collection.

Passport magazine is a relatively new, ultra-slick, ultra-hip gay travel magazine. My friends Don Tuthill and Robert Adams, respectively the publisher and editor-in-chief, who have owned and run QSF magazine for many years, launched this publication recently. It has received industry accolades. They asked me to come along and write the occasional article for this venture as well.

Magazine articles, Passport Magazine

Argentina, Buenos Aires, GLBT, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel

The Domestic Partner Analysis

Dan P.Tuesday, January 24, 20060

University of Florida has opened its benefits plan to domestic partners, gay or straight. The application for benefits requires that the two people swear to the following:

1.We are each other’s sole Domestic Partner and intend to remain so indefinitely;

2.We reside together in the same principal residence and intend to reside together indefinitely;

3.We are emotionally committed to one another, share joint responsibilities for our common welfare, and are jointly responsible for each other’s financial obligations as demonstrated by the presentation of two of the following:

– a. joint ownership of real property;
– b. common ownership of an automobile;
– c. joint bank accounts;
– d. a will, retirement plan, or life insurance policy designating the other as primary beneficiary;
– e. a rental agreement showing both parties;
– f. driver’s licenses showing the same address for both parties; or
– g. IRS tax returns showing the same address for both parties
– h. durable property or healthcare power of attorney granted by either party to the other

4.We are each at least 18 years old and mentally competent to consent to a contract:

5.We are not related by blood closer than would bar marriage in the State of Florida;

6.We are not legally married to anyone else and are not involved in any other Domestic Partnership.

7.We have been in a non-platonic relationship for the preceding 12 months.

First off, I’m all for domestic partnership benefits, and I totally understand that any organization granting them wants to avoid situations like a couple of friends or roommates deciding to apply for them just to save money. But, a couple of thoughts…

#1 & #2 – the word indefinite means: “unclear, vague, lacking precise limits, uncertain, undecided.” Although in common speech people often use it to mean “forever” or “a really, really long time,” that isn’t what it means, and this is a legal document.

#3 – I know married couples, especially those where both people work, who couldn’t qualify with two of those, though I do think it’s a reasonable list.

#4 – If someone happens to be mentally incompetent to consent, but consents, how does that affect the contract? Not being a lawyer, I haven’t a clue.

#5 – Though on the face of it completely sensible, it brings to mind a wide array of jokes, many of which are often told about folks in the south…

#6 – Shouldn’t there be some way of phrasing this in the singular for each person?

#7 – Already the butt of internet jokes making the rounds on this one, and selected out for particular taunting by Randy over at This Is True this week. As he pointed out, many married couples swearing to that would be lying. As I pointed out to him in return, the statement doesn’t require them to swear to being in a sexual relationship with each other, nor does it require they be monogamous, merely that they state, in essence, that they’ve been engaged in sexual activity during the preceding year…

Flotsam, jetsam, lagan, and derelict

GLBT, Politics

The Gay Bomb

Dan P.Sunday, January 16, 20050

The Gay Bomb
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. That’s our national military’s policy on homosexuality. (By the way, I was in ROTC back in college in the mid-70s, I told when asked, it didn’t stop them from admitting me to the program – though, of course, that was before the policy, it was during the “no way you’re getting in” era. I was also once interviewed by the CIA, originally for a position in psychological profiling, but then was offered a position in data analysis – they asked, I told, they still offered. Who knows?)

Regardless, the policy is clearly for our military, not our enemies:

“Category # 3: Chemicals that affect human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected. One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”

This from the Wright Laboratory at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio, part of a 1994 study paper entitled “Harassing, Annoying, and “Bad Guy” Identifying Chemicals. The paper came to light this week as a result of efforts from the Sunshine Project, a biological/chemical warfare watchdog group. According to the officer in charge of such things, neither this nor any of the other silly ideas in the paper were pursued, they were merely proposed and discussed.

There’s clearly not enough detail in the paper released to figure out things like: How did they plan to test this one?

“Conduct tests to determine safety/toxicity for humans, then conduct field trials to determine initial and lasting effectiveness in various climates and conditions….”

(Some commentators have suggested that San Francisco’s Castro district and New York’s Greenwich Village might have been test sites…)

If homosexuality is a combination of “nature and nurture”, as is generally believed, just exactly what sort of chemical was going to convert heterosexuals to homosexuals? Did someone really think that just by making soldiers super-horny (aren’t they already?) they would drop their weapons, stop listening to their orders, and jump each other in the foxholes… so to speak?

On the flip side of this, and in a clearly clairvoyant moment, Weekly World News reported way back in August of last year that:

“Extremist Muslim scientists are developing a bomb that turns anyone within a 30-mile radius of its blast into a homosexual, say U.S. Intelligence insiders.”

Flotsam, jetsam, lagan, and derelict

GLBT, Military

Tag Archive: GLBT

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